King of the Hill - Third Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,367
Previously on King of the Hill:

2
00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:06,599
...and now Mega Lo Mart
has propane...

3
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,675
Propane at Mega Lo Mart?

4
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:11,142
- I gotta let you go.
- You're firing me?

5
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:15,182
You don't have to take the test now.
I gave the job to somebody else.

6
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:18,419
How you doing, Arlen?
You ready to soft rock?

7
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,247
I'm breaking up with you.

8
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,394
Hank!

9
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,053
Chuck!

1
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,843
Kid, where's your hall pass?

2
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,611
You got me.

3
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:51,651
My name is Ramon Tavares.
I'm in Mr. Powell's class.

4
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:53,320
Ramon Tavares?

5
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,156
Why does your lunch bag
say "Bobby Hill"?

6
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,554
Because we can't spell Ramon...

7
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:00,721
What did I say?

8
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:05,258
All right. Get going, Ramon.

9
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,492
- Bobby Hill!
- Yeah?

10

1
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,801
Morning, Dale.

2
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:48,948
- Hi, John Redcorn.
- Dale.

3
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,682
Morning, John Redcorn.

4
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:01,784
Peggy. Just dropping off
a new healing herb for Nancy,

5
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,296
to help with her migraines.
Ginkgo biloba.

6
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,492
Yeah, sure, I've heard of that.

7
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,440
Well, you must be
reading Doyle Harcavy.

8
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:23,380
What's he got for us this morning?

9
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:25,535
"When it comes
to starting the day,

1
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:38,000
Yup, I change my oil
every 3,000 miles,

2
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:40,836
or when I get bored,
whichever comes first.

3
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:47,179
I see London, I see France.

4
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:50,880
Told you, Hank.
London and France.

5
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,285
Ladybird, no!

6
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,021
Get out of my underwear.

7
00:00:54,104 --> 00:00:55,489
I put those on her.

8
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:58,388
Ladybird is in heat
and we are out of doggy diapers.

9
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:01,086
Peggy. how could you?
My old underwear?

1
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,504
That's a cute baby, I tell you what.

2
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,612
We're trying to have a baby ourselves.

3
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:17,617
He doesn't want anyone to know,
so I'm only telling complete strangers.

4
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,647
I might be able to help
you out there. May I?

5
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:25,387
It's okay. He is the assistant manager
of Strickland Propane.

6
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:41,136
There you go, little fella,
for that "new car" smell.

7
00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:19,378
"Fill cup to line." Okay.

8
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,115
Negative.

9
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,046
That's 12 in a row, Hank.

1
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,274
Here you go, sug'.

2
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,142
Two sugs, right?

3
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,616
They asked me to be
the celebrity judge

4
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,651
at the Mrs. Heimlich County
Beauty Pageant next week.

5
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,318
Mrs.? Wait.

6
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,256
Do any women mature
enough to have a family

7
00:00:56,373 --> 00:00:57,948
really go in for that nonsense?

8
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,618
That nonsense, sug',
changed my life.

9
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,217
It's what got me into television

1
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:37,797
Good old Mason 1500.
Handles like the day I bought her.

2
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:41,371
I tell you what, this is the
only mower I'd want with me

3
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,944
if I were ever stranded
on a desert island.

4
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:48,003
You are gonna kill at that lawn mower
focus group tomorrow, Hank.

5
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:50,880
Now, Dale, a focus group
is not a competition.

6
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,612
It's a chance for
the informed lawn mower consumer

7
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,306
to give valuable input
to the Mason Corporation

8
00:00:56,373 --> 00:00:58,180
in a comfortable mall setting.

9

1
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Yup.

2
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:05,795
Yup.

3
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:12,096
See? I told you it wasn't me
going through your garbage.

4
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,740
See? Deer.

5
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,247
I guess we owe you an apology,

6
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:20,582
and I guess those were probably
deer droppings, too.

7
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:21,911
Probably.

8
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,616
Those deer are infiltrating
the human quadrant.

9
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:28,355
They've replaced fire ants
as the number one ex-urban pest.

1
00:00:57,430 --> 00:00:59,359
I do love Christmas.

2
00:00:59,443 --> 00:01:01,327
I like to celebrate the anniversary

3
00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:04,591
of when Lenore left me
seven years ago, Christmas Eve.

4
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,258
Best thing that ever
happened to me. Yup.

5
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,960
That's nice, Bill.

6
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,562
I tell you what. Holidays are
the least lonely time of the year.

7
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:20,012
You know,
I feel like eating a cookie.

8
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:23,913
Bill's always got some cookies
lying around, probably.

9
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:27,945
Bill.

1
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:34,462
You guys are in big, big trouble.

2
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,536
This is the worst offense I've seen

3
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,902
in my 14 years as
"C" fire investigator.

4
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:43,441
Dauterive, comma,
William Fontaine Delatur, comma,

5
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,842
sergeant barber, comma,
United States--

6
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:48,438
Comma, numbskull,
comma, shut up.

7
00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,910
- Well, gotta go.
- Sit down!

8
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:54,420
Nobody's going anywhere
until I find out how this happened.

9
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:56,990

1
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,936
I'm getting some nice color.

2
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,910
Look out, Mrs. Hill. Snake!

3
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:21,649
It's a harmless bull snake.
I'd say he...

4
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:25,391
Pardon, she is about nine months old.

5
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,895
Your mom's as cool
as most people's dads.

6
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:35,533
It's like that book
they took out of the school library:

7
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:37,768
I've Got Two Dads.

8
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,706
No, you don't.

9
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:17,567
This is Hill.

10

1
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:04,351
Bobby looks pretty good in that uniform.

2
00:00:04,429 --> 00:00:05,331
Yup.

3
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:06,565
Yup.

4
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,939
Think the Cougars
have a chance this year?

5
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:12,541
- No.
- Nope.

6
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,314
You guys.

7
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:58,715
Paint.

8
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:03,159
Boys, the Welton Wolves have already
put their mark on this bridge.

9
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,381
Now, what does a Cougar do

10

1
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,438
Yes, I do know the temperature.

2
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,471
Outside temperature is 98.6.

3
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,477
My body temperature is 63 degrees.

4
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:49,282
Wait a minute.

5
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,915
Out of way of working man.
I try to get home.

6
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:56,456
Kahn, even old lady Matlow
can drive down the alley

7
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,254
without asking anyone to move.
What's that say about you?

8
00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:02,420
I leave for work when you sleeping.
I come home when you drinking.

9
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:06,193
- What that say about you?
- So the man likes to drink. So what?

1
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,564
So, meeting a woman on the Internet.
How do you like that?

2
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,699
I'll take care of everything
while you're away.

3
00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:42,798
I even made a tape
of all of your plants' favorite songs.

4
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,378
Bill, Peggy and I were thinking

5
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:48,005
Bobby could take care of
Boomhauer's house while he's gone.

6
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,208
I see.

7
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:54,217
Bobby's a good kid,
but you looked at his room lately?

8
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,241
So what do you say?

9
00:00:57,374 --> 00:00:59,993
It'll be good for the boy,

1
00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:04,127
It looks like a rabbit.

2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,632
I guess that's the tail?

3
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,774
Very good.
What else do you see?

4
00:00:08,859 --> 00:00:10,836
That one looks like a pig.

5
00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:13,637
No, wait. Maybe it's a ham.

6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:17,245
Bobby, in your imagination
there are no wrong answers.

7
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,841
Look, Mom, a bee.

8
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:22,889
Yeah, I guess that could be
maybe a puffy little wing and...

9
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:28,584
- We even fooled a bee.
- That's because bees are stupid.

1
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:37,229
That's my ride.
Uncle Hank, can I borrow $22.50?

2
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,808
I need $8 for the movie
and $2.50 for popcorn

3
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:46,176
and $10 for dinner,
and I want to play the claw machine.

4
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,884
I would give up the popcorn
to play the claw machine.

5
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:53,283
You know, Luanne,
it would be a lot less irritating

6
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,782
to give you a round
number every now and then,

7
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,052
than hearing about every little thing
you wanted to buy.

8
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,628
Can I have $300?

9

1
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:33,266
Yup.

2
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,001
Yup.

3
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,669
Yup.

4
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,767
- What's with Hank?
- I think he's worried about his mom.

5
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,675
Are you worried
about your mom, Hank?

6
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,239
He's worried about his mom.

7
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:53,414
She and her friends were
supposed to get here two hours ago.

8
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:57,013
Why she had to take on
all this highway driving at her age

9
00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:00,091
just to see a museum
of miniatures?

1
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,072
"New York style deli"?

2
00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:10,504
They think that's a selling point?

3
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:14,104
Wow! They've got pictures of celebrities
on the walls.

4
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:18,885
Howie Mandel.

5
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:25,990
- What's a k-nish?
- Honey, it's pronounced "nish."

6
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:28,858
The "K" is silent,
and I have no idea.

7
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:32,397
Stuffed kishkes? Kreplach?

8
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,126
Even in my dreams,

9
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:38,262
I never dreamed a place like
the Show Biz Deli could exist.

1
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:10,671
Dad, only two more inches
to Wichita Falls.

2
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:15,748
Two and a quarter, Bobby.
Good eye, son.

3
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,675
What's the best way
to get to Corpus Christi?

4
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,365
The quickest way
is straight down here.

5
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,814
But the best way is
to go through Arlen.

6
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:27,360
It's one of George Bush's
Communities of Excellence.

7
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,519
Arlen, huh?
Is that where you're headed?

8
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,691
No, sir. We're on our
way to Wichita Falls.

1
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:36,159
Come on, baby, turn over.
You can do it.

2
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:38,366
Turn over, baby. Come on.

3
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:39,472
Come on.

4
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:49,514
Hank, my mower won't start.
Mind if I borrow yours?

5
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:54,244
- Almost turned over, didn't she?
- Yeah, she was teasing me.

6
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:58,958
You didn't try to start it, Dale.
There were no engine noises.

7
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,888
I'll try to start it.
Can I borrow some gas?

8
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:06,296
Don't waste my gas.
We both know it's not gonna start.

9
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,131

1
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,136
So I told that state trooper:

2
00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:39,228
"Ignorance of the Lord
is no excuse either."

3
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:41,869
That was quick.

4
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,943
Well, the Winston Cup's on at noon,

5
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:47,275
and Rev. Thomasson
always wraps it up in plenty of time.

6
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,940
And now, friends,

7
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:53,748
I'm sad to say that I've decided to retire
from Arlen First Methodist.

8
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:59,153
Retire? The man
works half a day a week.

9
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,751
After much reflection
and soul-searching,

1
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:38,235
The fork and the spoon
Jumped over the moon

2
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:39,672
No.

3
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:42,499
You got a letter.

4
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:47,247
It smells like the letters Luanne
used to get from her mom in prison.

5
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,177
Only prisonier.

6
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:54,250
"Archer"? I don't know anyone
named Archer.

7
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,585
I've been pre-approved
for a Gold Card.

8
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,786
Who wants ice cream?

9
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:07,698
Listen to this.
It's from an old student of mine.

1
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:36,933
Here's $300 cash for my next semester,
Miss Kremzer.

2
00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:38,936
Count it. It's all there.

3
00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:45,477
There's still an incredibly complicated
hair dyeing exam coming up, Platter.

4
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:49,173
You've gotta pass that
to even qualify for the final semester.

5
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,877
I won't let you down, Miss Kremzer.

6
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,781
Yeah, sure.

7
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,317
Look, it's Luanne.

8
00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,490
It sure has been
a hard year for you, Luanne,

9
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:04,121
with your boyfriend blowing up,
and losing all your hair,

1
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,692
You want potatoes with that, Buck?

2
00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:38,133
You know I do, Miss Fybel.
Scattered, smothered, and covered.

3
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,603
Hank will have the same.

4
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,835
Actually, I prefer my potatoes
diced and chunked--

5
00:00:42,903 --> 00:00:45,495
I already ordered for you.
Now listen up.

6
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,244
Chamber of Commerce is putting
together a coed softball league.

7
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:50,442
I want you to play
and be head coach.

8
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,680
Head coach? Like Tom Landry?

9
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,619
I'm gonna need a moment here, sir.

1
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:34,431
Listen, guys, I sent the cards out
about a month ago

2
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,027
for our 20th wedding
anniversary barbecue.

3
00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:40,502
And Peggy is kind of a stickler
for those things.

4
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:44,100
- So I'm gonna need your RSVPs.
- Yep.

5
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:45,545
Yep.

6
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,581
All right, then. So it's official.

7
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:52,619
Are you gonna give her china, Hank?
20th anniversary's china.

8
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,382
My marriage only made it to wood.

9
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,320
No, but after the party,