Kevin Can F**k Himself - Second Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:08,969
Kevin and Allison --
together forever!

2
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:11,226
Oh!Aah!

3
00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:13,539
So what'd I miss?Allison:
I'm gonna kill Kevin.

4
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:14,835
You know any
natural-born killers?

5
00:00:14,971 --> 00:00:15,891
I think I might.

6
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,966
Okay, I can do it.

7
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,795
[Glass shatters]Is that a gun?

8
00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:20,762
I have to protect us.

9
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,670
[Gasping]

10

1
00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:09,710
You tried to kill Kevin.

2
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:11,835
Help! Help!No! Shh!

3
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,058
[Clank, woman shouts]

4
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,357
Chuck's been cheating
on me.

5
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:15,892
I'm offering you
something real.

6
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,406
Being with you
is going to save me?

7
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:18,669
It'd be an improvement.

8
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:19,891
No, no, no.
Patti --

9
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,460
I brought him
to the hospital.

1
00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:10,096
This has been the worst
72 hours of my life.

2
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:11,707
Allison:
I'm faking my own death.

3
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:13,007
So you're looking for
a way out.

4
00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:14,883
I have heard of women,
you know, getting out.

5
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,795
People assume that
they died.

6
00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:18,449
Allison tried to kill you.

7
00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,983
What is marriage
if not a death sentence, right?

8
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:23,548
If you need help,
I'm around.Get out.

9

1
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:08,785
Now where's this guy
with the pills?

2
00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:10,008
Hey, what the hell
are you doing?!

3
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,447
I was saving you.

4
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:12,973
This is your best bet
for a new identity.

5
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:15,056
This needs to last you
the rest of your life.

6
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:17,795
You need a real person --
young, single...

7
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:19,057
Dead.
Dead.

8
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:21,366
I found a Gertrude Fronch.

9
00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:23,236

1
00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:07,955
[Gasping]

2
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,231
Allison Devine?

3
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,710
Everybody wanted
to get out of here.

4
00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,533
You at least had a shot.

5
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:13,877
Woman: You need to get
Gertrude's death certificate.

6
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,360
I think I know someone
who can help us with this.

7
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,670
This is someone I know
at City Hall.

8
00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:17,885
They'll get you
whatever you need.

9
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:19,194
After this, I'm done.

1
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:08,570
You need to get Gertrude's death
certificate from City Hall,

2
00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:11,227
and you need to do it fast.I found it. Ha!

3
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:14,535
You know, I've actually been
in the newspaper before.

4
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,893
♪♪

5
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,933
You caused a city-wide
power outage.

6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,149
You have to take responsibility
for something, Kevin.

7
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:23,888
It's the security footage
from Vermont, right?

8
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,070
I'm just gonna say it.

9
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,722
Do you want to

1
00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:10,234
Think after several decades
you'd be just a little
bit better at this.

2
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:11,141
No![Bottle shatters]

3
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,575
We're banned for life.

4
00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:14,141
This whole thing is weird
and stupid.

5
00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:16,228
You really don't need
to worry about that anymore.

6
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:17,147
[Door closes]

7
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,671
You remember
my partner Bram?

8
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:21,024
He asked me to plant evidence
for him once.

9
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,594

1
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:09,267
Sam, I don't want to leave.
Now I know how to take
care of my problems.

2
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,230
I guess I'm gonna
have to take on Tammy.

3
00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:13,059
We have a chance of
figuring this out together.

4
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:15,357
Or I can start
getting answers on my own.

5
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:16,757
No one listens to me.

6
00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:18,756
I've never been a problem
for you.

7
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,108
I took care of my little

8
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:22,407
Tammy's gonna arrest me
for arson problem.

9