Kevin Can F**k Himself - First Season English Subtitles
Series Info:
Overview:
A look at the secret life of a sitcom wife.
Release Name:
Kevin.Can.Fuckmself.S01E01.WEBRip.x264-ION10.English
Release Info:
Complete S01; Original, no changes.
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1 00:00:00,132 --> 00:00:01,482 [Chanting "Kevin"] 2 00:00:01,524 --> 00:00:04,704 [Chanting "Neil"] 3 00:00:04,744 --> 00:00:06,224 Oh!Seven in a row! 4 00:00:06,268 --> 00:00:07,308 That's seven for Kevin! 5 00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:09,445 We're in Seventh Kevin, baby! 6 00:00:09,489 --> 00:00:11,399 Hey, one more and that's a sweep, son, 7 00:00:11,447 --> 00:00:13,837 and that means a naked lap for you, Neil! 8 00:00:13,884 --> 00:00:16,024 [Laughs] God, not again. 9 00:00:16,061 --> 00:00:17,891 Patty, what do you care? You're my sister.
1 00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:08,048 Alison: I've been thinking... 2 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,915 -Ugh. -No. -Again? -No! 3 00:00:09,965 --> 00:00:12,395 Previously on "Kevin Can [Bleep] Himself"... 4 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,796 ♪♪ 5 00:00:14,839 --> 00:00:16,229 No! 6 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,407 If I could start over, and go somewhere else... 7 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,932 Sam. 8 00:00:19,975 --> 00:00:21,195 So, what did I miss the last 15 years? 9
1 00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,569 Oh, simple Allison. 2 00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:12,528 Previously on "Kevin Can [bleep] Himself"... 3 00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:15,357 I just don't know when I got so isolated from everyone. 4 00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,146 You blew up my life. Was that just for fun? 5 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,801 I felt sorry for you. 6 00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,374 I was hoping to do some computer research. 7 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:23,151 About a woman who decides to kill her husband. 8 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:26,457 I killed with oxycodone and made it look like an O.D. 9 00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,724
1 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:09,054 Kevin and Allison, together forever. 2 00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:12,056 Previously on "Kevin Can [bleep] Himself." 3 00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,839 [Screams] Oh! 4 00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:16,023 I killed him with oxycodone and then made it look like an O.D. 5 00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,889 You'll have to wait till I re-up Monday afternoon. 6 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,890 -Thank you. -Worcester PD. 7 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,242 Everybody stay where you are. 8 00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:24,072 My friend was hauled off in a pair of handcuffs,
1 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:11,532 Patty, I can't live without you.Oh! 2 00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:13,616 Jenn, this is Allison. Allison, my wife Jenn. 3 00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:16,055 Patty O'Connor? Detective Tammy Ridgeway, Worcester PD. 4 00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:18,063 Do you have any idea what that bust was about? 5 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:20,015 [Grunting] 6 00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:23,503 Do you have any idea why this car was reported stolen? 7 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,065 Kevin, you called the police?! 8 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,242 What was I s'posed to do?! 9 00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:27,677 I've been tryin' to reach ya all day!
1 00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:10,314 Previously on "Kevin Can F... Himself"...Ridgeway: Patty O'Connor? 2 00:00:10,358 --> 00:00:12,138 Detective Tammy Ridgeway, Worcester PD. 3 00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:14,446 Detective Ridgeway is looking for the local dealer. 4 00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:16,892 Yeah, you. We give her somebody different. 5 00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:18,059 I need those pills for him, 6 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,665 'cause I'm gonna kill Kevin. 7 00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,975 I'm actually good at doing terrible things to people. 8 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,552 I quit.
1 00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:09,182 Previously on "Kevin Can F... Himself"...[Car horn honks] 2 00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,486 Kevin is going to die. Yes. 3 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:12,713 Okay, I can do it. 4 00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,671 I thought we weren't gonna do this anymore. 5 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,450 No, you didn't. 6 00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:19,154 You just need to broaden your horizons. 7 00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,063 She likes me. We can use that. 8 00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,238 Jesus Christ, what the hell is happening?
1 00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,697 Previously on "Kevin Can F... Himself"... 2 00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:10,097 Make it look like a robbery, 3 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,010 and as soon as it's done, you'll get the money. 4 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:14,095 You can't fire me. They'll throw me in prison. 5 00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:15,584 Change of plans. We're leaving tonight. 6 00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:18,114 I don't know when you got so broken. 7 00:00:18,148 --> 00:00:19,668 Uugh! 8 00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,925 Damn it! [Sniffs] 9
