Frasier - Ninth Season English Subtitles
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Frasier.S09.1080p.BluRay.Remux.DTS-HD.MA2.0.H.264-BTN
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1 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,487 I'm crazy about you. I started to feel like 2 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,114 you didn't want to be here with me. 3 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:17,242 Oh, gosh, nothing could be further from the truth. 4 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,770 I'll tell you something else. 5 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:21,855 I'm happy. 6 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:33,758 I'm glad, Frasier. I'm happy too. 7 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,511 I'm on vacation with my girlfriend, Claire, 8 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,389 a woman who by all conventional measures is perfect for me, 9 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,476 and yet I've just had a vivid sexual dream
1 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,241 - Oh, thanks. - Hey, Dad. 2 00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:20,704 Hello. Hey, boy, you miss me, huh? 3 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:22,747 So how was your trip, Mr. Crane? 4 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:26,251 Oh, the hunting was awful. Didn't bag a damn thing. 5 00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:29,880 Duke and I sat there for two days just waiting for something to happen. 6 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:33,075 Like when Frasier took me to see Nicholas Nickleby. 7 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:37,804 Thank God this time I had a gun. 8 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,055 Dinner is almost ready. 9 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,501 Shall I set you a place or would it make you feel better to shoot your eggplant?
1 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:12,404 We have Tom on the phone from Woodinville. 2 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,614 Hello, Tom. I'm listening. 3 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,783 I thought I'd never get through. 4 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,869 I have a problem and I don't know what to do. 5 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:22,164 I'm supposed to get married soon, but I'm having second thoughts. 6 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:25,709 - You think it's just cold feet, or what? - All right, Tom, just calm down. 7 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:29,337 Let's work through this thing together, you and I. 8 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,839 Are you in love with this girl? 9 00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:33,867 Of course, yes. I think.
1 00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:15,724 Cranberry muffin, please, and, uh, a vanilla latte. 2 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:20,062 Oh, dear, comfort food. What happened? 3 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:26,401 Niles, do you think I'm elitist? 4 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,756 Of course I do. You needn't worry about that. 5 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:35,051 No, not in the good way. At work today, 6 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:40,599 I discovered an injurious graffito about me 7 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:42,726 scrawled on the men's room wall. 8 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,336 - No. - Yes. 9 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,630
1 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,611 Wow, look at you. 2 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:14,932 You look just... like him. 3 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:19,453 Oh, Daphne, come on, huh? 4 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:23,357 The theme this evening is to come dressed as your hero. 5 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,528 Fidel Castro. 6 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,113 Sigmund Freud. 7 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,508 Daphne, don't you think that bowl is a little bit small 8 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:36,178 - for a whole night of trick-or-treaters? - I don't think so. 9 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,763 Children in the building are too scared to ring our bell.
1 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,743 I love it when he plays the piano. 2 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,787 No matter how gloomy it is outside, 3 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,956 it makes everything seem a little brighter. 4 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,543 I feel the same way about bacon. 5 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,795 You're so lucky to be musical. 6 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,715 I'd give my right hand to be able to play the piano the way you do. 7 00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:34,176 Hmm, sounds a bit like O. Henry meets Stephen King. 8 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:37,345 But still, if you're serious, I'd be willing to give you lessons. 9 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,805 I'd love that.
1 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:10,844 Welcome back, Seattle. 2 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,930 Thank you for joining us in celebrating this, 3 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,516 our 2000th show. 4 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:18,560 - Hard to believe, isn't it, Roz? - No, that feels just about right. 5 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:22,189 Ah, yes, well, what a festive day this is. 6 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,733 No stop has been unpulled. 7 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,610 I would like to take this opportunity 8 00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:29,196 to acknowledge the anniversary luncheon spread 9 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:32,658 provided by our friends at Señor José Phong,
1 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:12,554 Well, I'll have to run this by the station manager, of course, 2 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,640 but barring any unforeseen circumstances, 3 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:17,935 I believe the internship will be yours. 4 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,186 That would be wonderful. 5 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:22,731 But just meeting the preeminent radio psychologist of this era 6 00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:24,900 has been a most thrilling experience. 7 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,985 Well... 8 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:29,696 So, Roz, what do you think? 9 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,033 I think he's a pretentious, arrogant toady.
1 00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,929 Janet from Seattle, you're in bed 2 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,472 - with Dr. Zach. - Oh, yeah. 3 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,140 How can I make you feel better? 4 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,393 My husband isn't the man he was, 5 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,396 if you know what I mean. And it's ruining our marriage. 6 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,315 Are you sure it's just his fault? 7 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,901 The signs on Love Street don't all point one way. 8 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,196 Come on. 9 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:32,324 This is the competition? Dr. Zach?
1 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,470 Terrance, we're nearing the end of our program, 2 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:13,764 and we haven't gotten to the heart of your problem. 3 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:16,475 I guess I'm just sick of being single. 4 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:19,144 I mean, I'm almost 40. What kind of loser am I? 5 00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:21,897 A single man in his 40s is not a loser. 6 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:25,776 I said I'm almost 40. Don't make it sound worse than it is. 7 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,445 - Can I jump in here, Frasier? - Please. 8 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:32,115 Listen, Terrance, I know that I'm not as old as you, or Frasier, 9
1 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,276 Excuse me, Cam. 2 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,988 Oh, hello, Frasier. Still driving a sedan? 3 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,200 Yes, well, at least mine fits in the allotted space. 4 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,827 Unlike this new behemoth you're driving. 5 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,288 Well, actually it's the Behemoth XL. 6 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:41,124 Well, use care getting out. 7 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,169 Come back here. You know very well I can't get out! 8 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,797 Oh. I'm sorry. 9 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:49,550 Let me see what I can do about that.
1 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,763 - You could live here. - Are you asking me? 2 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:16,016 - Would you like to? - Would you like me to? 3 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:19,102 - Yeah. - Then I will. 4 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:23,607 I gave the greatest speech of my condo-board career, 5 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:26,360 which lead to a vote, which lead to the ruling that Cam Winston 6 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:30,697 must now park that SUV monstrosity of his in the sub-basement. 7 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,076 You think that's smart, ticking off the guy who lives right above us? 8 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,828 - Well, the move's off. - What?
1 00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,887 - Thank you for the coffee. - Thank you. 2 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:15,015 Oh, you don't have to thank me. We're not keeping score. 3 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,558 Life's too short to get worked up 4 00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:19,895 over who owes who for this or that or whatnot. 5 00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:21,396 Let's just enjoy ourselves. 6 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,191 Whatever you want, Kenny, the answer is no. 7 00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,401 - Just hear me out. - Okay. 8 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:29,363 Look, I need a favor, but before I tell you what it is, 9 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,657
1 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,971 You sure you wanna do this without Daphne? 2 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,765 When Lilith and I got engaged, 3 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:18,060 she insisted on being involved with the ring selection process. 4 00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:21,104 I appreciate your concern, but I wanna surprise her. 5 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:24,441 How about this one? It's nice and sparkling. 6 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,485 - That's an earring, Dad. - Huh? 7 00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:29,071 - Oh. Guess I better put on my glasses. - Yes. 8 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:31,490 Niles, 9 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:33,659
1 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,845 Our topic today has been honesty. 2 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:16,266 The courage to face each other with the plain truth. 3 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,519 I've certainly enjoyed myself these last few hours. 4 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,103 I hope you have too. 5 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:25,275 This is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you good mental health. 6 00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,737 Well, that was a dog of a show. 7 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,074 They all blend. 8 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:36,453 Oh, you got a message. A Blaine Sternin called. 9 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,997 Blaine Sternin.
1 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,345 - Hey, Roz. - Hey, Daphne. 2 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,596 - Hey, Niles. - Come on in. 3 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:16,558 Is Frasier here? I need him to approve the latest version of his bio. 4 00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:20,479 Why does he keep updating his bio? What's changed in the last few years? 5 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,774 Oh. His date of birth. 6 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:28,403 He's now four years younger than I am. 7 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,406 Well, that's silly. Does everyone fake their age in radio? 8 00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,909 - No. - Oh. 9
1 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,470 Lillian, the next time your perfectionist tendencies 2 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:15,140 drive you to distraction, just remember this quotation 3 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,850 from Henry James: 4 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,646 "Excellence does not require perfection." 5 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,731 That's very helpful. Thank you. 6 00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:24,107 Or is it "demand"? 7 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:26,860 Hmm, require, demand. Excellence does not require perfection. 8 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,654 Excellence does not demand perfection. 9 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,281 - Aren't they the same thing?
1 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,060 There he is, Niles. 2 00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:19,853 That's our Yorick. 3 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,148 He's perfect, Frasier. 4 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:29,821 The missing link for our backyard production of Hamlet. 5 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:32,407 Exactly what I was thinking. 6 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,493 Now get up there. 7 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:38,622 - Why me? - Because I'm the director, that's why. 8 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,167 Come on. 9 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,171 Just get up there. 10 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:55,347
1 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:13,972 Well, gosh, what'd I just find in my pocket? 2 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:17,184 Is that tri-tip with peanut butter? 3 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,062 It is. 4 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,022 Mmm. No luck? 5 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,358 He's definitely coming down with something. 6 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,486 Yeah. Well, I guess I'm gonna have to eat these myself. 7 00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:30,364 Good idea. Reverse psychology. 8 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,324 What do you mean? 9 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:36,870 Well, Joe has found the source of the leak in my ceiling.
1 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,471 Despite your healthy teen skepticism, Jeremy, 2 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,848 problems that seem crushing now 3 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:18,602 can actually serve to shape your life in positive ways later on. 4 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,812 You're just saying that. 5 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:23,941 No. Well, I'll tell you what. Perhaps I can convince you with a story. 6 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:28,362 I recall a young man who suffered from involuntary bed-wetting 7 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,073 until he was 12 years old. 8 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,492 Or was it 13? 9 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:37,287 Boy, you'd think I'd remember. I slept in the lower bunk.
1 00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,177 So just remember, 2 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,679 when you're standing there out on the... 3 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,932 Why hasn't Frasier mentioned the Spokane thing yet? 4 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,601 I don't know. I'm sure we'll get to it by the end of the show. 5 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,437 Well, he better. Because I left him a memo and an e-mail 6 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:23,398 specifically asking him to promote this Spokane thing. 7 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:27,152 Now, ignoring an e-mail's one thing, but a memo and an e-mail? 8 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:31,198 I may have to bring the hammer down and leave a Post-it on his desk. 9
1 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:12,262 - Ah. - Yay! 2 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,681 - Did you make a wish, sweetheart? - Of course she did. 3 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,017 She wished her father still loved his children enough 4 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,186 to call his only daughter on her birthday. 5 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,646 Or his wife. 6 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,523 Oh, but that's a man for you. 7 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:26,109 Once he's planted his seed and you've borne his spawn, 8 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:29,947 he moves on to spread his filth elsewhere. 9 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,741
1 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,856 - Mr. Moon? - You again. 2 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,067 Didn't I toss you out of here last night? 3 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,402 Six times. But if you'll just give me a minute to-- 4 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:30,864 Gentlemen, this lad has traveled all the way from America 5 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,116 to reunite me with my wife. 6 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,413 Wait, wait, wait! 7 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:41,208 You never gave me a chance to buy a round of drinks. 8 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:48,131 All right. The usual, Ray. 9 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,926 Starting talking. You got one pint.
