Frasier - Eighth Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,304
It occurred to me I think we should try
to keep this quiet from Daphne.

2
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,765
- Keep what quiet?
- We got married.

3
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:18,435
Daphne, are you saying
that you have feelings for Niles?

4
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,020
I think I do.

5
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,898
You can't tell Niles all this.
He says he's happy with Mel.

6
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,816
She says she's happy with Donny.

7
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,818
But I'm not sure I believe
either one of them.

8
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:29,655
Just remember, Fras, there are
two marriages on the line here.

9
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:30,948

1
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,850
Rule number one:
Always stand in back of the curb

2
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,811
until the bus comes
to a complete stop.

3
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,189
Now take your money
and put it right in here.

4
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:27,528
Yes, thank you, Roz. But I am not
completely lacking in street smarts.

5
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,905
Good day, bus man.

6
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,866
The northwest corner
of Highland and First, please.

7
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,744
- That's not a stop.
- I know.

8
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:39,873
Perhaps if I just shove
a little encouragement into this box--

9

1
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:14,014
I would like to close the show today
with a truly inspirational tale.

2
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:17,976
One year ago,
a very successful friend of mine

3
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,229
was struck by tragedy.

4
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:25,943
Prognosis: not good. Hope: slim.

5
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:32,491
But armed with only fortitude,
this friend of mine fought back.

6
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:36,828
I'm talking about the reopening of
Seattle's finest restaurant, Chez Henri.

7
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,664
Just goes to show you

8
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:43,585
that a four-alarm fire
is no match for five-star courage.

9
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:48,882
This is Frasier Crane saying good day

1
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,888
- Hey, Frasier.
- Oh, hi, Roz.

2
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,140
Checking out
the personal ads, huh?

3
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,935
Actually, I'm looking at the want ads.

4
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,811
I'm trying to find a housekeeper.

5
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,648
Now that Daphne is Niles' girlfriend,
it doesn't feel right for me

6
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,567
to ask her to pick up
after me anymore, so...

7
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,028
It's awfully difficult
finding someone, though.

8
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,906
It's hard getting what you want
these days, isn't it?

9
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,157

1
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,737
Oh, Dad,
you're gonna have to clear out.

2
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,448
Daphne and I
are meeting with my lawyer.

3
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,576
Why go with that high-priced lady
instead of the guy I recommended?

4
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,786
Please. Donny is suing me
for emotional distress.

5
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,289
Your guy wanted me to limp into court
wearing a neck brace

6
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,874
and claiming not to speak English.

7
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:26,376
Hey, you don't keep an office
in the mall for 12 years

8
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:27,861
without knowing a few tricks.

9
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,006

1
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:13,947
Hello.

2
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,366
Niles! You're 40 minutes late.

3
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,326
I've just finished
my third basket of bread,

4
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,854
and there is an angry mob
breathing down my neck.

5
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,040
Oh...

6
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:27,377
You've torn your trouser cuff.
I'm so sorry.

7
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,087
For God's sakes, will you hurry up?

8
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,907
More hemming, less hawing.
All right.

9
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,159
I'll hold our table.

1
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,720
We've got a minute
before we go to the news.

2
00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:14,806
I understand we have Tom
from Fremont on line one.

3
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:16,450
Go ahead, Tom.

4
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,910
I don't want to be
squeezed into a minute.

5
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,562
I will go on after the news.

6
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:24,624
Well, why don't you tell me
your problem now

7
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,252
and then I can give you my reply
when we come back?

8
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:28,946
No, I'll wait.

9
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:32,616
Very well.

1
00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:12,137
Well, Roz, I think we have just
enough time for one more call.

2
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,265
Okay, we have Andy
from Bremerton on line three.

3
00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:18,227
Hello, Andy, I'm listening.

4
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,354
- Am I on?
- Yes, go ahead.

5
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,231
Can you hear me?

6
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:23,690
Yes, you're on the air.

7
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,527
- Hello?
- You're on.

8
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,571
- Am I on?
- Not anymore.

9
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:36,119
This is Dr. Frasier Crane on KACL

1
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,302
Who's up next, Roz?

2
00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:13,680
We have Cleo
from Redmond on line three.

3
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,225
Hello, Cleo. I'm listening.

4
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,476
Hi, Dr. Crane.

5
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:21,021
I've been dating three different guys
and I can't choose between them.

6
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:24,066
Is it that you can't choose
or you don't want to choose?

7
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:25,901
It's just hard. One's really funny,

8
00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:28,028
one's adventurous
and one's sensitive.

9
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:29,446
They're all gorgeous too.

1
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,430
Oh, Chelsea,
you are in for a rare treat tonight.

2
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:18,143
Your first opera, and Ben Heppner
is singing the role of Tristan.

3
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,188
Oh, this is gonna be
a whole new experience for me.

4
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,441
Why?
You've never been bored before?

5
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:31,114
Oh, dear.
Car seems to have stalled.

6
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,742
Oh, great. Now what?

7
00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:35,702
All right, let's not panic.

8
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,830
Chelsea, if you would, please,
open the glove compartment.

9
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:41,583

1
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,361
Frasier, I knew when you
bought me lunch,

2
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,029
there was going to be a catch.

3
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:16,241
- How long is this gonna take?
- Well, it shouldn't take too long, Roz.

4
00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:19,161
I can't believe I'm actually scouring
a science-fiction convention

5
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,454
for X-Men comics.

6
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:24,916
I feel I'm contributing
to the decline of my son's intellect.

7
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,418
Then why are you doing it?

8
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:29,363
Well, because I said no
to the eyebrow ring.

9
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,673
Oh, excuse me, good sir.

1
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,948
If you must know, I'm just about
to leave for something called

2
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,658
a speed date.

3
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:19,603
- What's a speed date?
- Well, apparently, it's the latest thing.

4
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,414
Twelve men and 12 women
get together in a room.

5
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,541
They spend eight minutes
talking to one another,

6
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:27,335
and then they move on
to the next person after a bell rings.

7
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:32,866
Basically, it's all the stress
and humiliation of a blind date, times 12.

8
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,827
Wow, talk about desperate.

9
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,806

1
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:18,076
I'm sorry. Care for some Brie?

2
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,120
No, thank you, Daphne.

3
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,913
Isn't Niles taking you to dinner soon?

4
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,040
Yeah, but if I don't have
a little snack now,

5
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:27,069
I'll just make a pig of myself later.

6
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:33,425
You know, I'm really starting
to worry about her.

7
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,595
You're worried?
Somewhere on a poultry farm,

8
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:39,706
a bunch of chickens
are holding a prayer vigil.

9
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,853
- Ah! Hello, Niles.
- Hello, Frasier. Look what I brought.

1
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,903
Roz, to what do I owe the pleasure?

2
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,239
A messenger delivered this for you
after you left.

3
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:17,576
It's marked "personal and confidential."
I thought it might be important.

4
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,411
I already tried that. Forget it.

5
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,330
We could use
some brighter bulbs at the office.

6
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:26,610
Yes, well, a brighter bulb
wouldn't have admitted it.

7
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:31,339
Let's see.

8
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:34,551
"Dear Dr. Crane, enclosed are four tickets
to tonight's Sonics game

9
00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:37,220
as thanks for your advice on today's show.

1
00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:13,405
And sadly, no one was able to answer
today's psychological mind teaser.

2
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:16,450
So once again, the prize goes unclaimed.

3
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:20,437
By the way, today's answer was anhedonia.

4
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,498
Anhedonia.

5
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,876
This is Dr. Frasier Crane

6
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,570
saying good day, Seattle,
and good mental health.

7
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,799
That was a real brain bender, doc.

8
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,135
The idea is to let people win
once in a while.

9
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,371
Oh, please, Kenny, I will not pander.

10

1
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,486
- Hi, Niles.
- Hey, Roz.

2
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:12,904
Hey, how's Daphne?

3
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,824
Actually, I just got back
from visiting her at the spa.

4
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,033
- Yeah.
- It wasn't easy,

5
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:20,579
but she has already lost
9 pounds and 12 ounces.

6
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:23,498
Wow, good for her.
It's all about will power.

7
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:26,068
- Yeah.
- Oh, thanks.

8
00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:29,613
I'm going back to the spa this coming
weekend, if you need a ride.

9

1
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,695
Thank you. Thank you,
Brother Reynolds,

2
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:12,946
for your inaugural ode.

3
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,906
And may I congratulate you
on your ingenuity

4
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,326
in rhyming "Sauvignon" with "tie one on."

5
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,703
Sir.

6
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:22,122
And now, as outgoing corkmaster,

7
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:26,293
it is my privilege
to bestow the sash of office

8
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,212
upon the newly-elected corkmaster.

9
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,506
Which would be me.

10

1
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:12,320
Hello, Roz.

2
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,780
I say, hello, Roz.

3
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,532
Oh, I'm sorry.

4
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:18,160
Oh, don't be.
I didn't mean to disturb your reading.

5
00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:20,328
- Actually, I'm doing a little research.
- Mm-hmm.

6
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,414
Um, I have a meeting
with a publisher tomorrow.

7
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,082
I'm thinking of writing a children's book.

8
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,292
- Really?
- Yeah.

9
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,544
It's a story my mom made up for me
when I was a kid.

1
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:11,987
- Hello.
- Hey.

2
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,738
Ah, the weekend warriors have returned.

3
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,908
You better watch out, Dr. Crane.
I'm getting pretty good at kickboxing.

4
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:20,979
It's true, it's true. She hits so hard,
they call her the British Pound.

5
00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,857
You hit pretty hard yourself there, Nails.

6
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,585
I'm gonna hop in the shower.

7
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:30,113
- Nails?
- Oh, you scratch one guy...

8
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,800
Oh, my electrolytes are plummeting.
Care to join me in a sherry?

9
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,845
Well, actually, I'd love to, Niles,

1
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,486
You sure Daphne will like this one?

2
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,780
It's perfect, Niles.
Look, it even says on the box:

3
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:17,367
"For the perfect DVD-viewing
experience," all right?

4
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:21,079
What do you suppose
"multi-angle capability" means?

5
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,899
It means that the remote control
will respond from any angle.

6
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:26,793
Not to intrude,

7
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:30,255
but actually, it means you can see
a scene from different camera angles.

8
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:33,550
- Oh, thank you.
- I was just teasing him.

9
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,495

1
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:16,283
- Hey, Daphne.
- Hello, Roz, Alice.

2
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,994
- What brings you here?
- We're borrowing Frasier's car.

3
00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:21,872
Oh, I see. And you're leaving
Alice here as collateral.

4
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,874
Actually, he's being very nice about it.

5
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:26,334
Mine's in the shop,
and I'm taking Alice and her friends

6
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:27,627
to an ice cream party.

7
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,547
You told me it was your friends
and the Science Center.

8
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:33,383
He said, she said,
we'll never know what really happened.

9
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:37,429

1
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,653
Niles, listen, when Claire gets here,

2
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,363
can you give us a moment of privacy?

3
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,407
- Of course.
- I'm planning on asking her

4
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,200
to go to Belize with me next weekend.

5
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,871
Oh! Belize-imo.

6
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:24,399
You'd better Belize it.

7
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,711
Let's see what we can do with Ecuador.

8
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:30,714
- Maybe later.
- Wait, next weekend?

9
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,549
That's awfully soon. I hope Claire's free.

10
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:35,552