Dad Stop Embarrassing Me - First Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:15,223
Good evening. I'm so happy to meet you.

2
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,018
I've read my notes on you two, and...

3
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:22,063
[clears throat] seems like you've been
living together for a little while.

4
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:27,152
But guess what? I'm here to make sure that
when you two lovebirds leave here today,

5
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:30,030
that you'll be singing in perfect harmony,

6
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,032
just like Whitney and Bobby!

7
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,241
[Brian] Mmm.

8
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,370
- Excuse me just a moment.
- [Sasha chuckles]

9
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,581
I know there's a little age cavern,

10

1
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,430
[Willie grunting]

2
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,599
Pops, you're 100 years old,
you still don't know how to tie your tie?

3
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:17,851
Boy, shut up.

4
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,437
I usually wear a clip-on
but I used that to hold my joint,

5
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,147
now I can't find the damn thing.

6
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:23,606
[vocalizing]

7
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,150
Uh, what exactly is going on?

8
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,152
It is Hotlanta. Why you got that wrap on?

9
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,946
[in gruff voice] Today's the day I'm doing
my big solo at church.

10

1
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,562
Hey, Pops. You're looking sharp.

2
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:24,607
Well, I am sharp as a jackknife,
as I always do.

3
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:27,569
[exclaims]

4
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:28,570
[laughs]

5
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:29,821
[Stacy] Yes!

6
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:31,740
- Yo. What up, Pops?
- Hey.

7
00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:34,659
I see you. Looking sharp.
You look casket-ready. When's the funeral?

8
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,411
Well, I don't do funerals no more.

9
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,955
Every time I look in a casket,
I see a friend.

1
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,266
Oh, snap! I didn't know I was gonna
find my favorite sister here.

2
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,600
I'm your only sister.

3
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:20,979
Look, Chelsea. I got something
that's gonna change your life.

4
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:24,274
- You're hooking me up with Donald Glover.
- You know what? I am not.

5
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,525
But I know Danny Glover.

6
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,071
Look. This is what I was thinking about.
The lip gloss idea.

7
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,992
Why don't we do that as a limited
summer release? Hmm? Run with it.

8
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:36,036
You are finally taking my advice.

9
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,538
- Damn right, I am.

1
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:15,765
What up, y'all? It's your girl Sasha here,
with my girl, Zia.

2
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,517
And we're the first to get our hands

3
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,478
on Bay Cosmetics' unreleased
new exfoliating lip gloss.

4
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:24,399
- Mmm-hmm. We're on some next-level...
- Shh!

5
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:26,026
Our dads are watching!

6
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,109
Oh.

7
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,029
- Okay.
- Okay, so...

8
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,739
- [Sasha] Mmm-hmm.
- [Zia] Mmm-mmm.

9
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:31,948
- Blot.

1
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:13,972
What's up, guys?

2
00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:15,974
It's your girl, Sasha,
and in a couple hours,

3
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:19,811
you will see me
throwing it back at the block party.

4
00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:21,521
Could you cover that, please?

5
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,316
First of all, you won't be throwing
nothing back at the block party.

6
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,860
You need to get your tail out there

7
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:29,446
and open the chairs and tables
for the cookout we got coming.

8
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,031
What are you talking about?

9
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:33,533
Zia and I are going to
the Juneteenth block party.

1
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:12,053
[Chelsea] Hey. What you reading?

2
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:15,557
I'm reading Floyd Mayweather's book,
<i>Rich Dad, Woke Dad.</i>

3
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,535
- Wait, Floyd Mayweather wrote a book?
- Mmm-hmm.

4
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,644
Did he accidentally
leave his number in there?

5
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,355
Chels, all right, don't be so thirsty.

6
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,442
You know what? This is great.

7
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,569
As a dad, though, watch how he get down.

8
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:31,614
As punishment, he makes his son
chauffeur him around in his Bugatti,

9
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:35,035
and for his daughter's birthday,
got her a tiger.

1
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,430
[humming]

2
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:14,513
Whoo!

3
00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:17,892
Nice suit.

4
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:19,978
But you're gonna
have to throw in some floor mats

5
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:22,439
and a spoiler
if you want me to buy the used car.

6
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,316
Did you know your milk is about to go bad?

7
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,403
I don't know who's in
my refrigerator more, you or my milk.

8
00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:32,699
What you doing down here?
You and Chelsea ain't seeing each other.

9
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,542
- It's got nothing to do with Chelsea.
- Huh.