Crash & Bernstein - First Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:05,005
Bottom of the ninth.
Bernstein's pitching a gem.

2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:08,258
Move in! This batter
hits like my mom.

3
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,135
No offense, Mom.

4
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,555
And you wonder why your
sisters won't play with you?

5
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,181
No, I don't.

6
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,517
Now if I could also get
them to stop talking to me,

7
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,935
I'd be living the dream.

8
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,730
Happy birthday, Wyatt.

9
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,482
Whoo!

1
00:00:00,250 --> 00:00:02,377
♪ Crash and Bern! ♪

2
00:00:04,629 --> 00:00:06,715
Happy birthday, Jasmine.

3
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:09,843
I hope you're all in a
good moo-ooo-ood.

4
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:16,933
Performing for you
is an udder delight.

5
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,309
Oh.

6
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:21,730
And I'm gonna milk
it for all it's worth!

7
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:25,025
Oh!

8
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,651
This is awful.

9
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,862
I know real cows who
are funnier than this.

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,543
♪♪

2
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:06,381
All right. Before we do this,
let's get our stories straight.

3
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:07,966
If anything breaks,
it's Amanda's fault.

4
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,843
Got it.

5
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,011
Launch me, Bernstein.

6
00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:13,722
Whoo!

7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:17,934
It's Amanda's fault.

8
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,937
Whoa, Crash, how far did you go?

9
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,523
Amanda!

10
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,693

1
00:00:00,750 --> 00:00:02,127
♪ Crash and Bern! ♪

2
00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:04,838
I don't want to take a bath!

3
00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:07,632
It's not Friday!
What about our deal?

4
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,010
I get to store up
six days of stink.

5
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:13,847
We also had a deal that you wouldn't roll
around on the floor of the movie theater.

6
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,849
It's called foraging, Mrs. B.

7
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:19,853
Ooh, I want a lollipop.

8
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,564
- Oh!
- Jasmine, don't eat that!

9
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,650
Ew, it tastes like Crash.

1
00:00:00,041 --> 00:00:01,710
♪ Crash and Bern ♪

2
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:07,549
Step it up, Jasmine. I need a blizzard.
This wouldn't even get school canceled!

3
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,719
Oh, a parade? For me?

4
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,638
It's long overdue but I accept.

5
00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:16,766
I'm taking a picture
for my campaign poster.

6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,935
I'm running for president
of the snowboard club.

7
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,354
You wanna talk or you
wanna take pictures?

8
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,606
We need more paper.

9
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:24,983
No problem.

1
00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:06,840
Yes! My fever's gone.

2
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,675
Time to get out of my sick robe

3
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,593
and into my healthy robe.

4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,347
You have two robes?

5
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:17,350
Are you the king of a
small island, Bernstein?

6
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,769
This worked out perfectly.

7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,855
I got sick enough to
miss a week of school

8
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:25,275
and got better just in time to go
on the camping trip this weekend.

9
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,444
Well, I'm glad
you're feeling better,

1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:03,211
♪ Kick it down on
Crash and Bern ♪

2
00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:05,422
Let's go! Time for school!

3
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,718
Cleo, why are you
carrying all of your books?

4
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,469
I had to let my servants go.

5
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,179
You know, the economy.

6
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:18,309
Ah. The first smart-aleck remark of
the morning is always the best one.

7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,730
Morning, mom. You look nice.

8
00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:25,233
Don't think I'm gonna fall for
that nonsense for one minute.

9
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,235
What do you want?

1
00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:02,502
♪ Crash! ♪

2
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:07,048
Ooh, boxes. We're
finally moving out

3
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:09,467
of this sardine can
you call an apartment.

4
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,927
Where we moving?

5
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,221
Is it that beautiful
mansion down by the river

6
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,557
with the towers
and the barbed wire

7
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,350
and the outside gym?

8
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,269
That's the prison, Crash.

9
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,604
I want to live there someday.

1
00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:08,174
What's with the mask?

2
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:13,096
Oh, I'm doing a research on
a report for the roman umpire.

3
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:16,641
I appreciate the help, but
it's called the Roman empire.

4
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:19,144
Hey, I make the calls here!

5
00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:22,313
Now get back to your dugout
before I throw you out of the game.

6
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,774
You blew that call, ump.

7
00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:27,652
You know, you should open your
eyes, you're missing a great game.

8
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,071
Oh, that is it, pal.
Do not push me.

9
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,073
This is a lot more fun

1
00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:03,712
♪ Kick it down hard
Crash and Bern ♪

2
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:06,631
Crash!

3
00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:09,217
Wrestling's on.

4
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,887
If you don't get out here,
you're gonna miss the...

5
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:14,472
Taste the purple claw!

6
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,267
Oh, yeah? Taste this!

7
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,977
Whee!

8
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:21,688
Ugh, you stay out of this, lady.

9
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:25,775
Why don't you clowns watch TV
sitting on your butts like normal people?

10

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,127
♪ Let me hear you say Crash! ♪

2
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:05,880
What'cha doin'?

3
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,424
I'm drawing a comic book.

4
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,217
I didn't know you drew comics.

5
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:10,885
What else are you
keeping from me?

6
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,430
Who do you work for?

7
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,891
Right now I wish I worked
for a mouthwash company.

8
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,896
Oh. Who's that muscular guy?

9
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:22,897
That's me.

10
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,607

1
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,174
Why is there a grizzly
bear on the cereal box?

2
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,843
Ooh, is it made from bears?

3
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,302
No, Crash.

4
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,763
And those cookies you like
aren't made from elf meat.

5
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,516
Oh. You ruin everything.

6
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:22,480
I feel a bad stomach
flu coming on.

7
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,858
It isn't gonna hit me today.

8
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:27,193
It's gonna incubate till...

9
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,071
Friday.

10

1
00:00:00,041 --> 00:00:03,753
♪ Let me hear you say crash!
Crash! ♪

2
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,089
Six days left until
summer vacation.

3
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:09,926
If I can just catch a
five-day virus, I'm home free.

4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,263
I can't wait to be in eighth
grade and grow a mustache.

5
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,890
You don't just grow a mustache
when you get into eighth grade.

6
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,308
My sister did.

7
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:23,064
Whatever you're
selling, I don't want any!

8
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,316
Oh. Hey, Bernstein.

9
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,901

1
00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:03,503
♪ Kick it down hard,
Crash and Bern ♪

2
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:05,338
- Hi, mom.
- Hey.

3
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:09,009
Hey, be a good kid and take
this down to the trash for me.

4
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,553
Sure. Be a good mom,
and give me 200 dollars.

5
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:15,432
Nice try. Let me know if
that ever works for you.

6
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:19,602
Me and Crash want to get tickets for
next Saturday's big wrestling match.

7
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,313
It's the once-in-a-lifetime
showdown between evil Bob Johnson

8
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,190
and the other Bob Johnson.

9

1
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:09,467
Yay! Monster truck rally!

2
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,385
Man.

3
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,847
You know, this almost makes up for
mom taking us to "The Nutcracker."

4
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:17,142
That show was not what
I thought it was gonna be.

5
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,937
Where are our seats?

6
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,230
Why are you yelling?

7
00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:25,066
My mom made me wear earplugs!

8
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,693
It's not that loud.

9
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:30,030
She said there might
be some salty language.

10

1
00:00:00,291 --> 00:00:02,711
♪ Let me hear you say Crash ♪

2
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,843
Whoa. Nice swing, Bernstein.

3
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:12,762
But you have to sit a lot
closer if you want to hit that TV.

4
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,098
Now come on.
It's time for school.

5
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:17,726
It's summer break.
We've got three months off.

6
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,602
Time to drain the brain.

7
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,272
And done.

8
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:27,861
Three months of no
school? Am I in heaven?

9
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:31,072
Think about how much
free time that gives us.

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,376
♪ Crash and Bern ♪

2
00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:03,378
Can you smell it, Bernstein?

3
00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:05,338
Can you smell it?

4
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:07,549
Is that you?

5
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,677
I'm talking about manhood.

6
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,639
No grocery cart has ever
attempted this speed before.

7
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:19,310
Hey, Wyatt, are
you sure this is safe?

8
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:23,189
As a matter of fact, I am
100% sure that it is not.

9
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:25,400
Otherwise, I would
be laying there.

1
00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:03,128
♪ Crash! ♪

2
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:08,591
Crash?

3
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:10,969
- Oh, there you are.
- Hmm?

4
00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:13,930
Listen, I don't mean to alarm
you, but I have some bad news.

5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,056
Try not to freak out.

6
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:18,143
Why would I freak out?
What could be so bad?

7
00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:21,771
I can handle anything...
Unless we're out of jelly.

8
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,566
We're out of jelly, aren't we?

9
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:26,568
Why, Bernstein? Why?

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,876
Last time on Crash
and Bernstein ...

2
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:05,088
Great news. Crash
is being recalled!

3
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:07,549
I'm Mr. Green from
the Bestie retrieval unit.

4
00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:11,594
I'm here to collect a recalled
toy by the name of... Crutch.

5
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:14,222
He's hot on our tail.
What should we do?

6
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,057
Ice cream!

7
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:21,146
- Crash!
- Don't worry, Bernstein!

8
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,357
I'll save you some ice cream!

9
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:30,447

1
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:07,340
Bring it in, guys. Good effort.
Really strong effort out there.

2
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:11,511
- But you can't win 'em all, right?
- Actually we've lost them all.

3
00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:14,139
- Yeah, but who's counting?
- Everyone.

4
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:19,394
Our record is posted in the school
blog. It's even trending. #losers.

5
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:20,520
Really?

6
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,689
And follow.

7
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,900
Well, we're having fun, right?

8
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:28,611
That's the excitement.

9
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,489
And I brought raisins.

1
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:06,715
Crash, you're going to fall.

2
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:07,674
Why do you say that?

3
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:13,221
Add that to the list of things you've
learned since you moved in here.

4
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,056
The pot rack is not a swing,

5
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:17,600
the dishwasher is not a sauna,

6
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,811
and the crock
pot is not a toilet.

7
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:24,190
Gotcha, Mrs. B. And
sorry about the crock pot.

8
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,900
You didn't have
to throw it away.

9
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,610
You know, I really did.

1
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:06,840
This is hockey?

2
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:09,217
We've been playing for 15
minutes and not one fight!

3
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:16,016
Oh! Oh! Oh, I've got a
cramp in my goluklike.

4
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,559
What's a goluklike?

5
00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:20,520
That's what a goal look like.

6
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,356
All right, you asked for it.

7
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,025
I'm going into beast mode.

8
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,818
You will not distract me.

9
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,153
Oh. Hey, Amanda.

10
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:30,280

1
00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:05,422
Waxing your snowboard?

2
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,757
- Can I help?
- Sure.

3
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:13,263
The snowboard club is
going on a trip next weekend,

4
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,473
but my mom thinks I'm
not responsible enough.

5
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,392
That's ridiculous, Bernstein.

6
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,769
You're the most
responsible guy I know.

7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,522
- Who wants cookies?
- Cookies?

8
00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,649
Save one for me-eeee!

9
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:29,446
He's okay. He

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,251
♪ Crash and Bern ♪

2
00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:06,131
Step around here!
Get that... yeah! Yes!

3
00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:07,298
Woo-Hoo!

4
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:10,135
- New high score!
- Ha ha!

5
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,929
This is the best moment
in Wyatt and Pesto history.

6
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:13,930
Yeah!

7
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:17,809
Um, when you guys said we
were gonna ride motorcycles,

8
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:21,271
I thought you meant
real motorcycles.

9
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,439
We're 12.

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,626
♪♪

2
00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:06,214
This is awesome.

3
00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,174
We're like the fast
and the furriest.

4
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:10,719
Speed bump!

5
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,804
Whoa!

6
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:16,224
Wow. Those bumps really
are worth speeding up for.

7
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,600
Yeah.

8
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,728
So, where'd you get
this car, anyways?

9
00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:21,062
Pure luck.

10

1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:01,626
♪♪

2
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,504
Yes. Yes... Yes!

3
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,549
Touchdown! Headcrusher scores!

4
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,426
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

5
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,178
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

6
00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:14,222
Oh ye...

7
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,099
Crash, what are you doing?

8
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:19,019
I thought we were having a
"Stupidest Dance" contest.

9
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,438
You are good.

10
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:24,858
Can't talk. I'm