Community - Fifth Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:02,294
I am the system.

2
00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:04,087
I consume humanity.

3
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:07,216
- There is no escape.
- Objection!

4
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,010
Jeff Winger, hero-at-law

5
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:11,803
Best lawyer you ever saw

6
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,597
Hero to freedom

7
00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:15,182
Defender of liberty

8
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,142
South of the 40 at Lincoln

9
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,727
You park for free Jeff

10
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:22,105
Are you a good person being sued,

1
00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:04,463
Hi, everybody. I'm Jeff...

2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:09,927
...Mr. Winger,
and this is Fundamentals of Law.

3
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,058
Any questions? You, Red Hair.

4
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,602
- Not gonna learn names.
- Will there be a syllabus?

5
00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:21,980
"Will there be a syllabus?"
Good example of a question. Moving on.

6
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,941
- Ski Cap.
- How are we gonna be graded?

7
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:25,442
Oh, no spoilers, Ski Cap.

8
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:28,654
We better do names.

9
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:31,240
Dave. What percent of our grade
will the final be?

1
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:12,221
Please stay for complimentary saltines
and full-price sodas.

2
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:16,016
But first, the dulcet tones
of The Bennett Boys.

3
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:22,147
When you were here before

4
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:27,528
Couldn't look you in the eye

5
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:37,496
Hey, bro, free crackers. Wanna
spend your life opening lockers?

6
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,666
You don't have to raise your voice!
I'm going as fast as I can!

7
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,213
Oh, great, now I have
these folders to deal with!

8
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,258
Et tu, pencil?

9
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,594
When it rains, it pours.

1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,962
Well, that was a weird afternoon.

2
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:08,091
I guess I knew Pierce
was part of a weird, futuristic cult...

3
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:11,595
...but I wasn't prepared for a funeral
with so much beeping.

4
00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:12,971
Well, let's not judge.

5
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,223
Everyone has a right...

6
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,434
...to whatever fake religion
they delusionally choose.

7
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,979
Abed, you were by the coffin
for a long time. Are you okay?

8
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,232
I'm okay. Although...

9
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,151
Troy and Abed are in mourning

1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:05,005
This is from all of us, Troy.
When you're sailing around the world...

2
00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,424
...you'll be going through
a lot of countries.

3
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,676
So we got you a universal translator.

4
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,347
Cool.

5
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,307
Cool.

6
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:16,517
Thanks, guys.

7
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,186
I didn't know going-away parties
could be so much fun.

8
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,856
- I should leave all the time.
- Let's not forget it's okay to be sad too.

9
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,359
Britta, do you get kickbacks
from Big Buzz Kill?

1
00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:04,421
Save Greendale Committee,
please welcome our newest member...

2
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:06,507
...math teacher Ben Chang.

3
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,679
Okay, let's get serious.

4
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:16,767
I've compiled a short list of the most
immediate Greendale emergencies.

5
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:19,061
Is deforestation on the list?

6
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,688
I, for one, am glad
that this is happening.

7
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,399
What this school needs
is a band of heroes.

8
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:29,988
Champions willing to rise up and
"Get all those potatoes out of the gym."

9
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,242
Like House Vogadash in the HBO

1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:03,795
Jeff, we've known each other
a long time, right?

2
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:06,673
- You've come to respect me.
- Sure.

3
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,884
Well, get ready to stop.

4
00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:13,263
Please, help me seduce Britta now
that you've finished doing it with her.

5
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,224
- Please.
- Do you even like Britta?

6
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,893
Seems like you like her
because she doesn't like you.

7
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,895
Have you met the women
that do like me?

8
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,397
Neither have I, but trust me,
they're bad people.

9

1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,463
Okay, we'll get an estimate
on adding grass to the soccer field.

2
00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:06,298
Good meeting.

3
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,634
Oh, Jeff, what time's dinner?

4
00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:12,471
- Dinner?
- Jeff, you didn't invite Shirley?

5
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:16,725
Well, it's Tuesday. Shirley always goes
to Elijah's karate practise on Tuesdays.

6
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,978
It's okay. Part of making sacrifices
for my loved ones...

7
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,482
...is not expecting my loved ones
to make sacrifices.

8
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,736
- I can do tomorrow.
- I can't.

9
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,572

1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:02,002
It's settled.

2
00:00:02,294 --> 00:00:05,088
Urinals in the women's restroom
will be turned into planters.

3
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:08,133
On to chores.
We need some able bodies...

4
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,302
...to clear out a space
in the storage room.

5
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:11,637
- I'll do it.
- Really?

6
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,430
Annie goes from easy chores
to hardest.

7
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:14,640
That's true.

8
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,266
- I'll do it too.
- Yeah, me too.

9
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:19,102

1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,712
Something for the committee
to put on the radar: Insurance.

2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,881
- What about it?
- School needs some.

3
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,591
- I can ask on the street.
- What?

4
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:10,427
Oh, too cool for street insurance?
Must be nice.

5
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,722
My sister wants to know what I'm
bringing to my grandson's birthday.

6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,808
I'm sensing an emergency
collage situation.

7
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,478
I wasn't invited.
My son had a kid three years ago.

8
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:22,147
I barely get to see him
on major holidays.

1
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:06,673
Cobra, Cobra, Cobra.

2
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:09,426
Cobra, Cobra, Cobra.

3
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,847
Cobra!

4
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,807
Destroy the Taj Mahal.

5
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,143
Cobra!

6
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,775
Not if G.I. Joe can help it.

7
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:27,528
Roadblock, Deep Six,
hold off those H.I.S.S. Tanks.

8
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,780
- Yo, Joe!
- Hat Muffs, Spit Take...

9
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,865
...shoot down those Rattlers.

10
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,034

1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:05,047
So according to the demonologist,
the gymnasium is clean.

2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,132
- We're running out of to-do stars.
- Yes.

3
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,259
- Already dealt with.
- It's hard to believe.

4
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:13,055
Somewhere along the way,
we started turning this school around.

5
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,477
- The hell was that?
- What was what?

6
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,145
Long, quiet lull. Don't like it.

7
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:21,355
It's called contentment.

8
00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,482
Exactly.
Someone's always got a problem.

9
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:27,778

1
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:05,380
This is Russell Borchert,
computer genius...

2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,633
...anti-deodorant activist,
and millionaire.

3
00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:11,053
He was rich for having invented
the nine-track cassette...

4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,473
...which the eight-track industry
paid to keep quiet.

5
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:17,851
He funnelled that wealth into
a computer school called Greendale...

6
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,312
...where he obsessively pursued
a new project...

7
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:23,315
...a machine that can process feelings.

8
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:27,653
He apparently used nothing but gold
to assemble his circuitry...

9