American Dad! - Seventeenth Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:06,470
[ Soothing music plays ]
Narrator: It's the beginning
of a new season.

2
00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:09,910
Could this season
change things for you?

3
00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:13,810
Could it be your season?

4
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,310
Yes,
I believe it could --

5
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,150
[ Grunts, screams ]
[ Cup clatters ]

6
00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:20,980
Welp, I got laughed
out of the library again.

7
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:22,520
What's wrong, my boy?

8
00:00:22,550 --> 00:00:24,690
It's my soft-ass
library card.

9

1
00:00:03,550 --> 00:00:05,290
Ooh, what about the line
where the guy says,

2
00:00:05,390 --> 00:00:07,090
"Dude, where's my car?"

3
00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:08,430
(laughter)

4
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:09,860
Oh, yeah!

5
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,600
I forgot that line.

6
00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:13,900
So classic.

7
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,970
He's like, "Uh, dude?"

8
00:00:17,030 --> 00:00:18,200
"Where's my car?"

9
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:20,300
(laughter)

10
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,710
Enough!

1
00:00:01,890 --> 00:00:04,060
[ Techno music plays ]

2
00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:05,930
Woman: Take it off!

3
00:00:05,980 --> 00:00:09,330
Oh, ladies, get a look at
that banana hammock!

4
00:00:09,370 --> 00:00:12,070
Truly the sleepiest banana
in the biz.

5
00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:13,550
Let's wake it up.

6
00:00:13,590 --> 00:00:17,290
I'm talking about boneeeeers,
ladies!

7
00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:19,300
How many times
do I have to say this?

8
00:00:19,340 --> 00:00:22,080
Stripping isn't about
taking off your clothes.

9
00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:23,300
It's about...

1
00:00:02,290 --> 00:00:03,420
**

2
00:00:03,450 --> 00:00:05,260
Well, it's official,

3
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:07,920
the golden age of television
has begun.

4
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,260
"Step Brothers" is
on every channel.

5
00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:13,760
Help! Roger's trying to give me
the bubonic plague!

6
00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:18,600
Whoa, there.
You're breaking two rules --

7
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,400
no weaponized plagues
in the house

8
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,040
and no running
on the stairs.

9
00:00:22,070 --> 00:00:24,670

1
00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:03,060
♪♪

2
00:00:03,110 --> 00:00:05,110
What about
this one, Steve?

3
00:00:05,150 --> 00:00:06,070
It's got a train
on it.

4
00:00:06,110 --> 00:00:07,680
Oh, sick!

5
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:08,940
That's the engine!

6
00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:10,330
That's the cool part.

7
00:00:10,370 --> 00:00:12,250
There's a caboose
on your butt flap!

8
00:00:12,290 --> 00:00:14,200
For your
choo-choo poo-poos!

9
00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:15,730
Mom,
this is baby stuff.

1
00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:03,390
[ Circus music playing ]

2
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,860
I can't believe you like this.

3
00:00:05,890 --> 00:00:08,360
Kiddie Wonderland is pretty lame
for a ninth grader.

4
00:00:08,390 --> 00:00:09,590
Yeah.

5
00:00:09,630 --> 00:00:11,530
I was 5 when I asked you
to take me,

6
00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:13,430
and you've been
putting it off ever since.

7
00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:15,000
Still. Pretty lame.

8
00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:16,230
[ Cellphone vibrates ]

9
00:00:16,270 --> 00:00:17,670
Hmm.
Might be work.

1
00:00:01,750 --> 00:00:03,420
**

2
00:00:03,450 --> 00:00:06,190
Wow, you can add a layer
of cut-up hot dogs

3
00:00:06,220 --> 00:00:07,820
to any sandwich
on the menu.

4
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They call it "Doggy Style."

5
00:00:09,430 --> 00:00:11,430
And if you don't cut up
the hot dogs,

6
00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:13,660
they call that
"Viagra Falls."

7
00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:15,200
These names are racy.

8
00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:16,500
Is that coming
from corporate?

9
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:18,000
It tastes really good.

1
00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:04,060
Costa Rica  is so amazing, Hayles.

2
00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:07,890
And building houses  for the poor is
super amazing.

3
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[ Whispering ] I am so bummed
I couldn't join you,

4
00:00:10,370 --> 00:00:13,200
but I'm just about to break in
to this factory farm

5
00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:15,210
to free the oppressed cows.

6
00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:16,860
My intel says the cows' rights

7
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:19,300
are totally
gonna be violated tomorrow,

8
00:00:19,340 --> 00:00:20,860
so time is of the essence.

9
00:00:20,910 --> 00:00:22,520
You're thereal hero,
Hayley.

1
00:00:01,850 --> 00:00:03,090
[ Siren wails ]

2
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:04,920
Great idea
coming out to the van

3
00:00:04,950 --> 00:00:06,390
for movie night, babe.

4
00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:10,230
Now I can laugh as loud
as I want at "Police Academy 3."

5
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:12,500
Police? In school?

6
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:15,100
[ Laughing ]
I mean, what the...

7
00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:17,900
Plus, we get
some actual privacy.

8
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,400
Pipe down.

9
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,140
Proctor's about to accidentally
enter the Blue Oyster bar.

1
00:00:04,350 --> 00:00:06,720
Stan, are you entering
the names?

2
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:08,530
Usually you need me
to do that.

3
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:11,200
Actually, I watched
a tutorial on my phone,

4
00:00:11,230 --> 00:00:12,830
so I can do it now.

5
00:00:12,860 --> 00:00:14,930
Player one -- Stan.

6
00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:19,700
Oh, little typo, not going
to beat myself up.

7
00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:22,410
Want me to find you a 6-pound
ball in the kids' section?

8
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,940
No need.

9
00:00:23,970 --> 00:00:26,580
That's my pink baby

1
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Where do you think
the trash goes

2
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when you put it down the chute?

3
00:00:05,790 --> 00:00:09,160
Maybe it goes
to California.

4
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Thrilling news!

5
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I've finally built the labyrinth
I've always wanted.

6
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,700
What's a labyrinth?
It's an elaborate maze

7
00:00:16,730 --> 00:00:19,000
filled with riddles
and monsters.

8
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,910
Monsters?
You ask a lot of questions, Smith.

9
00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:23,510

1
00:00:03,450 --> 00:00:06,500
Whoa!
Check out that pair!

2
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That guy has
even bigger ones!

3
00:00:08,940 --> 00:00:10,290
Good eye, Barry.

4
00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:12,770
Those are the best calves
we've seen all day.

5
00:00:12,810 --> 00:00:15,680
Just think, after we get
our calf implants

6
00:00:15,730 --> 00:00:17,560
from Dr. Kalgary,

7
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,300
we'll be the ones admired byall
the school boys in the park.

8
00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:22,860
Oh!
It's 10:00!

9
00:00:22,910 --> 00:00:25,780

1
00:00:02,550 --> 00:00:04,000
We've been kicking
this hill's ass all day.

2
00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:05,720
It's only right
we tell it our names.

3
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,590
Roll call!

4
00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:11,100
- Steve!
- Snot!

5
00:00:11,130 --> 00:00:13,930
- Toshi!
- Toshi's friend!

6
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,330
Sllort!

7
00:00:16,370 --> 00:00:18,100
You know, Sllort,
I'm so glad

8
00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:19,940
we met you out here
on the sledding hill.

9
00:00:19,970 --> 00:00:21,410

1
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Broadcast TV Family Night
may now commence.

2
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All the content
you can stream online,

3
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,070
plus you get
the commercials for free.

4
00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:12,900
I heard there's a new ad for Lincoln

5
00:00:12,940 --> 00:00:15,770
where Matthew McConaughey just
turns into a gentle breeze

6
00:00:15,810 --> 00:00:18,340
and moves through
a wheat field.

7
00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:20,950
I present, for your
Epicurean pleasure,

8
00:00:20,990 --> 00:00:22,690
The Popcorn Bar,

9
00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:25,130

1
00:00:03,540 --> 00:00:05,850
Roger, how are
the ice-skating lesson going?

2
00:00:05,890 --> 00:00:07,280
Harder than I thought.

3
00:00:07,330 --> 00:00:09,200
I didn't realize I'd be teaching them.

4
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,640
[ Air horn blares]

5
00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:15,640
You douche-B's ready for
my big bachelor party weekend?

6
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,340
Klaus, bachelor parties are for
men who are getting married.

7
00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:20,300
You're not a man,
and you're not getting married.

8
00:00:20,340 --> 00:00:22,300
Case closed. Guilty of being wrong.

9
00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:24,520
Your sentencing will be Monday
at 9:00 a.m.

1
00:00:01,050 --> 00:00:03,420
♪♪

2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,420
(studio audience
cheering and clapping)

3
00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:08,630
Uhp. Sorry. That's my
e-mail notification.

4
00:00:08,730 --> 00:00:10,760
Ooh! Looks like
it's official.

5
00:00:10,860 --> 00:00:12,630
You're looking
at the newest member

6
00:00:12,730 --> 00:00:15,430
of an exclusive
little club known as...

7
00:00:15,530 --> 00:00:17,530
Scientology.

8
00:00:17,630 --> 00:00:20,040
- You became a Scientologist?
- It wasn't easy.

9
00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:22,410

1
00:00:03,450 --> 00:00:04,850
Rog, I'm 10 out.

2
00:00:04,890 --> 00:00:06,420
I'll scoop you, and then
we're headed straight

3
00:00:06,460 --> 00:00:08,630
to the Sharks Nest
for some laser hockey, baby.

4
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:11,330
Pew pew! My favorite sport!
Can't wait.

5
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,560
Check this.

6
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,160
We're sitting in
the mayor's box.

7
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,530
Dick's been moonlighting

8
00:00:15,570 --> 00:00:17,170
as Mayor Garfield's
Chief of Security.

9
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,670
Yeah, Dick, killing it!

1
00:00:01,030 --> 00:00:04,000
**

2
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:05,870
For Cultural Appreciation Day,

3
00:00:05,970 --> 00:00:09,000
I'm honoring 4,000 years
of Jewish tradition

4
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,740
by circumcising
this unrealistically long

5
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,510
Hebrew National.

6
00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:20,220
You can see why the ladies think
it looks...better.

7
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,420
(chomp)

8
00:00:25,890 --> 00:00:27,690
**

9
00:00:27,790 --> 00:00:29,090
(girl shrieks)

10

1
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:05,490
Hello!

2
00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:07,920
Someone in the bathroom
at 2:00 A.M.?

3
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,860
Rogie gonna take
a peek-a-poo.

4
00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:12,400
Samuels, if I know one thing
about business,

5
00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:15,670
it's that I've been in this
business for a long business.

6
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:17,670
[ Gulps ]

7
00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:18,570
Don't look at me!

8
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,500
Hayley?
In a business suit?

9
00:00:20,540 --> 00:00:23,270
But you're the lazy hippie gal,

1
00:00:01,020 --> 00:00:03,420
♪♪

2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,560
Do you ever think about dying?

3
00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:07,890
I just watched Chernobyl on HBO.

4
00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:10,060
There were so many people dying,

5
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:11,930
I couldn't even laugh
at the jokes.

6
00:00:12,030 --> 00:00:13,930
You never know
what's gonna get ya, Francine.

7
00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:15,370
Take my friend, Jennifer.

8
00:00:15,470 --> 00:00:17,200
She got warts on her feet
walking barefoot

9
00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:19,070
at a Rascal Flatts concert.

10

1
00:00:01,050 --> 00:00:04,890
(reel casts)

2
00:00:04,990 --> 00:00:07,860
I have a good feeling
about this.

3
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,430
I think fly fishing
may have what it takes

4
00:00:10,530 --> 00:00:12,300
to be our new couples' activity.

5
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,760
Jury's still out on the fishing,
but I will say, it was

6
00:00:14,860 --> 00:00:17,470
pretty awesome hitting that
squirrel on the drive up here.

7
00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:20,300
(reel casts)

8
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:24,210
Ooh! I think I got one!

9
00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:25,810
STAN: Beginner's luck.

1
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,390
This magazine rules!

2
00:00:05,490 --> 00:00:08,560
The whole issue is about
old steam locomotives.

3
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,230
There's even an article
on the physics

4
00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:12,230
of opening a hose
called the monkey tail

5
00:00:12,330 --> 00:00:13,560
so the steam doesn't --

6
00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:15,400
Wait, why am I reading
about trains?

7
00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:16,600
Do I like trains?

8
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:17,940
- STAN: I got it for you!
- (gasps)

9
00:00:17,970 --> 00:00:19,470
I heard kids on the spectrum

1
00:00:03,500 --> 00:00:05,230
Mail's here!

2
00:00:05,330 --> 00:00:10,170
Look, it's our annual rejection
letter from Family Feud.

3
00:00:10,270 --> 00:00:11,770
A mustache hair.

4
00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:13,580
Oh, my God.

5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,180
Steve Harvey licked
that envelope himself.

6
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:18,380
Wait, this isn't
a rejection letter.

7
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:20,550
It's an invitation to
the second phase

8
00:00:20,650 --> 00:00:21,880
of the application process --

9
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,750
"filling out a questionnaire"!

1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:03,520
♪♪

2
00:00:03,650 --> 00:00:07,090
The perfect Thanksgiving
leftover sandwich --

3
00:00:07,220 --> 00:00:10,960
turkey, cranberry sauce,
pumpkin pie,

4
00:00:11,090 --> 00:00:13,050
Tuttle's famous baba ghanoush,

5
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:17,140
and a nice, big splash
of the after-dinner sambuca.

6
00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:19,140
[squish]

7
00:00:20,490 --> 00:00:21,490
[grunting]

8
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:24,020
Thanksgiving is over, Francine.

9
00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:26,330
We can't live in the past.

10