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'Allo 'Allo! - Fifth Season English Subtitles

 'Allo 'Allo! - Fifth Season
Sep 12, 2021 15:10:07 LU2021 English 18

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Allo Allo! - Fifth Season 23.976 FPS DVD

Release Info:

ep 01 to 26 
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Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 31.37KB Download Translate

1 00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:25,693 Would you believe it possible that the plot has now thickened? 2 00:00:25,713 --> 00:00:28,570 Herr flick thinks that the general and the colonel 3 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:30,070 are planning to blow up Hitler. 4 00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:31,570 Herr flick can do nothing about this 5 00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:34,601 because he has been imprisoned in the dungeon of the chateau 6 00:00:34,621 --> 00:00:36,080 disguised as a woman. 7 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,080 If my hands are shaking, 8 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:39,141 it is because Michelle of the resistance, 9 00:00:39,161 --> 00:00:41,080 in a plan to blow up

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 28.8KB Download Translate

1 00:00:26,590 --> 00:00:28,570 Is there anyone among you who thinks 2 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:31,142 it's a little strange that I am chained to the wall 3 00:00:31,162 --> 00:00:33,070 of a dungeon wearing ladies underwear? 4 00:00:33,090 --> 00:00:35,580 If there is, you have not been paying attention. 5 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,580 I was tricked into this ludicrous situation 6 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,580 by herr flick of the gestapo. 7 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,080 I am now awaiting rescue by lieutenant gruber, 8 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,090 who is the one who fancies me. 9 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:48,090

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 30.66KB Download Translate

1 00:00:23,376 --> 00:00:25,570 In case you are wondering what is happening, 2 00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:26,570 I will tell you. 3 00:00:26,590 --> 00:00:28,682 The British, not content with running away 4 00:00:28,702 --> 00:00:30,284 and leaving us flat at dunkirk, 5 00:00:30,304 --> 00:00:32,570 have now sent the R.A.F. To bomb us. 6 00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:34,682 If only they knew that I have in my pocket 7 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,080 a potato, containing a camera, 8 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:38,080 containing a picture of a safe, 9 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:41,080 containing the plans for the German invasion of england,

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 32.79KB Download Translate

1 00:00:24,070 --> 00:00:25,070 Quick, 2 00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:27,070 take this fire extinguisher, 3 00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:29,090 follow the general. That way. 4 00:00:30,590 --> 00:00:32,570 Where are you going? 5 00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:35,090 Uh... I was just going out for a little fresh air. 6 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:37,080 That smoke was getting in my lungs. 7 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:38,580 You are here to blow this safe. 8 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,182 Get on with it, or you will die 9 00:00:40,202 --> 00:00:41,784 at the hands of the resistance. 10 00:00:41,804 --> 00:00:44,090

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 35.95KB Download Translate

1 00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:28,570 I suspect that this meat that I am trying to eat 2 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:30,570 passed the winning post at longchamps 3 00:00:30,590 --> 00:00:32,570 some time ago... 4 00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:35,080 Probably in last place. 5 00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:37,580 This ill-fitting uniform that I am wearing 6 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,580 has landed me in serious trouble. 7 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,580 I put it on to escape the Germans 8 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:42,723 only to to be captured 9 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,090 by the fanatical

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 31.94KB Download Translate

1 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:31,070 Due to a complicated set of circumstances 2 00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:33,335 which I will not bore you with at the moment, 3 00:00:33,355 --> 00:00:35,090 I have once again managed to locate 4 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:37,080 the original copy of the portrait 5 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:40,580 of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies by Van clomp, 6 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,845 together with the picture of the cracked vase 7 00:00:42,865 --> 00:00:45,090 with the big daisies by Van gogh. 8 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:47,590 That is on the credit side. 9

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 33.36KB Download Translate

1 00:00:26,090 --> 00:00:28,744 You will note that Edith is over at the window table, 2 00:00:28,764 --> 00:00:30,764 gently weeping. 3 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,580 The reason is as follows: 4 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,080 I was, at the point of 20 guns, 5 00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,192 in the process of marrying Denise laroque, 6 00:00:41,212 --> 00:00:43,080 the head of the communist resistance, 7 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,090 when Edith, 8 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:47,662 bravely or stupidly, depending upon your viewpoint, 9 00:00:47,682 --> 00:00:50,090 substituted herself for Denise,

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 31.86KB Download Translate

1 00:00:27,590 --> 00:00:30,570 You find me lying here like a derelict old bum 2 00:00:30,590 --> 00:00:33,070 and it might be that you think 3 00:00:33,090 --> 00:00:34,580 my appearance mystifying. 4 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,580 The reason is as follows: 5 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,580 I fell off the back of a lorry. 6 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:39,621 Or, more accurately, 7 00:00:39,641 --> 00:00:42,580 I was thrown off the back of a lorry by Denise laroque, 8 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,437 the head of the communist resistance, 9 00:00:44,457 --> 00:00:46,590 who is madly in love with me. 10

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 31.65KB Download Translate

1 00:00:26,590 --> 00:00:28,570 It is possible that you are wondering 2 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:30,590 why my wife... for that is she... 3 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:37,580 Is mopping the floor with a bucket on her head? 4 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,580 It is because she is on the hit list 5 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,580 of the communist resistance, 6 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,100 because she screwed up my wedding to their leader, 7 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,590 a delectable dish called Denise laroque. 8 00:00:46,610 --> 00:00:49,090 Poor thing, she is a bundle of nerves. 9 00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:51,110

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 33.45KB Download Translate

1 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:26,070 These pills I am taking are to calm my nerves. 2 00:00:26,090 --> 00:00:28,570 I need them because I have just photographed 3 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:31,070 the map of the German plan to invade england. 4 00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:33,070 The resistance are, at this moment, 5 00:00:33,090 --> 00:00:34,580 developing the negative. 6 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,100 The photograph was supposed to be flown to england 7 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,080 attached to the leg of a long distance duck. 8 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:42,080 Unfortunately, the duck escaped, 9 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:45,162

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 31.91KB Download Translate

1 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,570 If you had been here half an hour ago, 2 00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:28,244 you would have seen me disguised as a French general, 3 00:00:28,264 --> 00:00:31,570 with a false nose made of plastic explosive. 4 00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:34,080 Unfortunately, I sneezed, causing the wick, 5 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,784 which was concealed in my nostril, 6 00:00:35,804 --> 00:00:37,580 and which was in fact a fuse, 7 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,080 to become exposed. 8 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:43,590 The wick then caught light from the end of my cigar, 9 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,590

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 31.55KB Download Translate

1 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:30,784 Some of you may be wondering what I am doing 2 00:00:30,804 --> 00:00:33,580 in the cellar of my cafe, bricking myself up. 3 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,580 I will tell you. Last night, 4 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,080 a group of German generals were in my cafe, 5 00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,580 planning the invasion of england. 6 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,090 In order not to be blown up by the resistance, 7 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:47,590 they had disguised themselves as French onion sellers. 8 00:00:47,610 --> 00:00:49,590 Unfortunately, they became mixed up 9

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 31.12KB Download Translate

1 00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:33,070 Some of you may be surprised to see me 2 00:00:33,090 --> 00:00:36,080 dressed as a franciscan vicar, fiddling about with a pram. 3 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:39,080 Some of you may be even more surprised to learn 4 00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,958 that the baby in the pram is none other than my waitress, 5 00:00:41,978 --> 00:00:43,988 Mimi labonq. 6 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:47,090 May I speak? 7 00:00:47,110 --> 00:00:48,110 No. 8 00:00:49,610 --> 00:00:53,090 All this is a simple ruse to recover the genuine paintings 9 00:00:53,110 --> 00:00:55,600 of the fallen Madonna

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 34.27KB Download Translate

1 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,570 The last time we met, you may recall that 2 00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:33,580 we had just robbed a bank to obtain money for the ransom 3 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,080 to be paid to the communist resistance, 4 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:38,580 for the release of the German officers, 5 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,580 and more importantly for the release 6 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,580 of my midget serving maid, Mimi labonq, 7 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,590 who is currently disguised as a baby in a pram. 8 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:48,590 And has the uh... 9

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 27.06KB Download Translate

1 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:23,570 The sun is shining, 2 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,570 the scent of France is in the air, 3 00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:28,070 you would not think I had a care in the world. 4 00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:30,570 If I were not hiding two British airmen 5 00:00:30,590 --> 00:00:33,070 and two girls of the communist resistance, 6 00:00:33,090 --> 00:00:34,825 and if I had not just robbed a bank 7 00:00:34,845 --> 00:00:37,080 and stolen 1,000,000 francs of gestapo money 8 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:39,080 you would be right. 9 00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,080

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 29.62KB Download Translate

1 00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:27,070 You must excuse me for being out of breath, 2 00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:29,070 but I have just been endeavoring 3 00:00:29,090 --> 00:00:31,090 to launch a long distance duck. 4 00:00:33,090 --> 00:00:36,580 This long distance duck is a long distance lady duck. 5 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,580 She is carrying a microdot film 6 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,590 for the plan of the invasion of england. 7 00:00:41,610 --> 00:00:44,620 It is attached to her leg by a corn plaster. 8 00:00:46,110 --> 00:00:48,590 Unfortunately, despite the combined efforts 9 00:00:48,610 --> 00:00:51,590 of myself, my wife

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 34.34KB Download Translate

1 00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,080 It is possible that you are wondering 2 00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:43,141 what I am doing creeping into my own cafe 3 00:00:43,161 --> 00:00:45,090 at a quarter past 1:00 in the morning, 4 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:48,090 dressed in a hospital operating gown, 5 00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:50,090 which, incidentally, opens up the back, 6 00:00:50,110 --> 00:00:52,590 so you will forgive me if I do not turn round. 7 00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:56,100 The reason for all this is very simple, 8 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:57,600 if a bit unlikely. 9

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 29.28KB Download Translate

1 00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:26,274 Some of you may be itching to know 2 00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:28,570 why I am sitting at the piano. 3 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:31,070 The reason is sad but simple. 4 00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:33,070 After an exciting chase, 5 00:00:33,090 --> 00:00:35,080 monsieur leclerc, our regular pianist, 6 00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:37,580 has just been arrested by the gestapo 7 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,080 on suspicion of concealing 8 00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:42,080 975,000 forged francs 9 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,090 down his trousers. 10

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 31.17KB Download Translate

1 00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:28,570 You find me sampling one or two of the local vintages, 2 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:31,090 so that I may choose a house wine for my cafe. 3 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:38,100 Too good for the peasants. 4 00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:50,590 Too bad for the peasants. 5 00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:53,110 Good enough for the Germans. 6 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,600 Rene, have you found a suitable one yet? 7 00:01:00,620 --> 00:01:03,100 Yes, this one will do very nicely. 8 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,110 Go and put a pint of antifreeze 9 00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:06,610 in that barrel.

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 29.98KB Download Translate

1 00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:35,580 If you have not been following events very closely, 2 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,580 you might think that these articles 3 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,335 that I am packing into wine crates, 4 00:00:39,355 --> 00:00:40,580 are Christmas puddings. 5 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,590 If they were, I would not be handling them so gingerly 6 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:46,590 at half past 1:00 in the morning. 7 00:00:46,610 --> 00:00:49,090 These things are, in fact, 8 00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:51,590 manufactured from high explosives, 9 00:00:51,610 --> 00:00:53,600

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 29.15KB Download Translate

1 00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:30,070 I am not normally a drinking man 2 00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:32,284 especially at half past 8:00 in the morning, 3 00:00:32,304 --> 00:00:34,580 but my nerves are shot to pieces. 4 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,080 I feel like a cat who has used up eight of its nine lives. 5 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:41,080 Why am I in this state, I hear you ask? 6 00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:44,090 I will tell you, I hear myself reply. 7 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:49,090 Firstly, I have a cellar full of 258 exploding Christmas puddings. 8 00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:52,590 Secondly, the British airmen who were supposed to leave last night 9

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 29.07KB Download Translate

1 00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:27,070 You find me standing in the corridor 2 00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:29,570 of the 11:15 express to Geneva. 3 00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:32,070 I am here because it was my plan to elope 4 00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:34,488 to the Swiss mountains with my waitress, yvette. 5 00:00:34,508 --> 00:00:37,080 Unfortunately, my wife, Edith, 6 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:40,080 received the note which was intended for yvette. 7 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:43,080 So the sleeping bunk which should be occupied by yvette, 8 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,090 at the moment contains Edith. 9 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:47,590 The train is traveling

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 33.17KB Download Translate

1 00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:34,580 If you had been here at this time yesterday, 2 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,080 you would have seen a most spectacular sight. 3 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:38,580 It happened like this: 4 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,080 Edith and I were attempting to blow up 5 00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:43,080 a safe in the police station, 6 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,590 using an exploding Christmas pudding. 7 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:48,590 The safe contained 16 bars of pure gold, 8 00:00:48,610 --> 00:00:51,090 belonging to general Von klinkerhoffen. 9 00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:53,600

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 31.54KB Download Translate

1 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,580 You are probably saying to yourselves, 2 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,090 "hello, what is this man up to?" 3 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:45,090 I will tell you. 4 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:47,090 He is up to the cuckoo clock. 5 00:00:47,110 --> 00:00:49,090 He is trying to wedge the little door. 6 00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:50,590 And why is he doing that? 7 00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:52,110 I will show you. 8 00:00:59,079 --> 00:01:00,100 This is what happens 9 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,600 when you replace the real weight 10 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:05,110

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 32.59KB Download Translate

1 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,407 You are possibly wondering why I am packing a few things 2 00:00:37,427 --> 00:00:39,580 into this little case. I will explain. 3 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,580 Once again I am leaving. 4 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,386 I have decided that life around here 5 00:00:43,406 --> 00:00:45,090 is getting too dangerous for me. 6 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:47,559 Well, for a start you will have seen the big hole 7 00:00:47,579 --> 00:00:49,110 outside in the village square. 8 00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:51,120 Would you believe that crater was caused 9 00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:53,090 by exploding Christmas puddings?

Sep 12, 2021 08:02:38 32.6KB Download Translate

1 00:00:26,090 --> 00:00:27,570 You will have to forgive me 2 00:00:27,590 --> 00:00:29,570 if I talk to you with my mouth full, 3 00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:31,570 but I am here to select some cheeses for my cafe. 4 00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:34,580 Now, those of you who have been following my adventures 5 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,131 will know that I am very close 6 00:00:36,151 --> 00:00:38,080 to a complete nervous breakdown. 7 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:40,080 Too strong. 8 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:43,080 For the last few days I have been harboring 9 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:46,090 a secret coding apparatus, called the enigma machine.