Alfred Hitchcock Presents - Second Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:32,949
Oh, good evening.

2
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,160
I'm so glad you've found me.

3
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,454
As you can see,

4
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:40,498
our new quarters
are rather modest,

5
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,292
but we like the location

6
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:45,337
and thought the change
might do us good, also.

7
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,881
And now, if you don't mind,

8
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:52,302
I would like to indulge
in an old American custom.

9
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,137
No matter how busy they are

10

1
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,777
Good evening,
friends and others.

2
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:29,904
Tonight...

3
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:34,743
Madam, some of our audience
are having difficulty in seeing.

4
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,494
Would you mind?

5
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,083
Thank you.

6
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:45,462
On the theory that what was
good enough for Shakespeare

7
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,339
is good enough for us,

8
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:53,011
we plan to open tonight's play with
a maid soliloquizing as she dusts.

9
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:57,432
Unfortunately, tonight happens
to be the maid's night out.

1
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,945
Good evening,
students of the macabre.

2
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:33,074
This evening's lecture
has as its text

3
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:36,328
the short story "De Mortuis"

4
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,121
translated from the Latin.

5
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:41,875
This means "about the dead. "

6
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:45,503
At the risk
of being facetious,

7
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,297
I would like to point out

8
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:50,967
that Latin is a dead language.

9
00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:53,803
Thank you.

10

1
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:28,570
Good evening.

2
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:34,034
Television fans can be so
demonstrative and unpredictable.

3
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,704
At the time this happened,
I was under the impression

4
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,706
I was being put on a pedestal.

5
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,500
My wife's not going to
like this.

6
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:46,004
She's always telling me not
to leave my ashes on the floor.

7
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:01,853
Tonight, we present a very
warm little story called

8
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,897
"Kill With Kindness. "

9
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:08,735
Reception seems to be

1
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:29,821
Good evening.

2
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:33,783
The entertainment industry is
always crying for new faces.

3
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,411
I've decided to give them one.

4
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,372
Not that there's anything
wrong with the old one.

5
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,541
In fact, I think
it's rather good.

6
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,714
Well, it could have been
worse. What if I had cracked?

7
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,175
See, here's the one.

8
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,852
I've always wanted
to be someone else.

9
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:06,524
That won't do.

1
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:28,778
"Double, double
toil and trouble

2
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:33,158
"Fire burn
and cauldron bubble. "

3
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:49,341
I don't know
why people do this.

4
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,634
It's not at all good
for the cuffs.

5
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:53,887
Takes the starch
out of them.

6
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,597
I wonder if it does
that to babies?

7
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,266
Of course,
that must be the idea.

8
00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,310
As you shall soon see,

9

1
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,317
Good evening.

2
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:32,240
Some of our late viewers
tuning in.

3
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,618
One of the commonest questions

4
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:40,206
that people ask of a producer
of mystery motion pictures is,

5
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:43,585
"Which is written first,
the words or the music?"

6
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:48,631
In our case, the background
music always comes first.

7
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,008
After it is written,

8
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:54,262
we sprinkle the score
liberally with sound effects,

9
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:57,390
and then hire an author

1
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,694
Good evening.

2
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:32,490
Tonight, we offer you
a generous portion of mystery,

3
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,701
a pinch of comedy,

4
00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:37,704
just a soupcon
of a commercial,

5
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:42,751
all seasoned by a few irrelevant
comments from your host.

6
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:46,921
As you may know,
food is a hobby of mine.

7
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,466
I don't claim to be
an expert cook,

8
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,968
but I am rather a good eater.

9
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:54,929
If you will wander

1
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,158
Oh, good evening, onlookers.

2
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:37,579
I seem to be stuck. I don't suppose
you see a place for a red seven.

3
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:40,790
No, of course not.
This program isn't in color.

4
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,503
That's right. You can't
distinguish colors, can you?

5
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,965
There's nothing
to winning, really.

6
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,760
That is, if you happen
to be blessed with a keen eye,

7
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:54,971
an agile mind
and no scruples whatsoever.

8
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:58,141
Tonight's play is called
"The Crack of Doom. "

9

1
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:27,902
Hiya.

2
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,155
I'm not Hitchcock.

3
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:32,449
I'm Alfred, his stand-in.

4
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:35,410
Someone has to stand here
while the lights and the cameras

5
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,829
are adjusted
and all that stuff, see?

6
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,415
And the old boy
just don't have the time.

7
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:42,459
I got the job
'cause I look like him.

8
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,712
That's what they say,
but not to my face.

9
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,132
I see they're rolling him in.

1
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,736
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

2
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:31,322
A special word to those of you
who have been arrested

3
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:34,242
while speeding home
to see this show.

4
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:37,287
I can do nothing
to bail you out.

5
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:41,666
And I'm afraid the magistrate
is only slightly in my debt.

6
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,127
I shall, however,
do everything I can

7
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,296
to make you
forget your troubles.

8
00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:49,924
Tonight's narrative
is about gangsters.

1
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:42,459
Oh, good evening, friends,
Romans and countrymen.

2
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,337
I've just unearthed
some items

3
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:48,465
which may be of vast
archaeological importance.

4
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,678
Two fig leaves.

5
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,807
And a half eaten apple.

6
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,270
Tonight's play
is not about fig leaves,

7
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,647
but it does have
a scene in a garden.

8
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,901
It is called
"The Rose Garden. "

9
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,821

1
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,862
Good evening, friends.

2
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:32,824
Would you all please examine
the tops of your television sets,

3
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:37,120
and see if one of you doesn't find
a goldfish bowl with a crack in it?

4
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:41,499
Thank you.

5
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:45,253
By the way,
I've been asked to announce

6
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:48,757
that some of you are missing
this program unnecessarily.

7
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:52,927
You have moved and not kept
us informed of your address.

8
00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:55,764
So we don't know
where to send the show to you.

9
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,558

1
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:31,281
Good evening, and welcome
to Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

2
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:36,911
Thank you.

3
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:42,375
See you next year.

4
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:45,545
We thought
you'd like to see this.

5
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:48,173
So many of you
have expressed an interest

6
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,717
in knowing how I was paid.

7
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,970
Now I can afford
to go back to my diet.

8
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:57,015
Tonight's play
is about a body.

9
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,768
Not mine.

1
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:29,612
Good evening.

2
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:31,239
Good evening.

3
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,118
Good evening.

4
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:45,712
Certain parties have been
objecting to my candid remarks.

5
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:50,300
So, I'm doing tonight's show
from this sealed chamber.

6
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,927
It's as quiet as a tomb.

7
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:54,971
Which is not surprising...

8
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,056
Good evening.

9
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,016
...since it was the only type of
structure available that suited our...

10

1
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,444
Good evening.

2
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:32,741
Tonight's play is entitled,
"Nightmare in 4-D."

3
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:36,828
It will be presented in only
two dimensions, however.

4
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:39,122
We could present it in 3-D.

5
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,207
In fact, we did in America,

6
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,460
but the viewers
kept getting involved

7
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:48,298
and during one of the more violent
scenes, we lost half our audience.

8
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,884
We wouldn't want that
to happen here.

9
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:55,430
In this case, 4-D indicates

1
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,736
Good evening.

2
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:32,490
I firmly believe that everyone
should indulge now and then

3
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:36,119
in some form of athletic
sport, don't you?

4
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:39,581
Personally, I don't
require much exercise,

5
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:43,168
since I lead
a very Spartan existence.

6
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:47,505
But when I do, I find my
needs are adequately filled

7
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:50,342
by such sports as riding

8
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:54,220
or reading the less violent
portions of the Sunday papers.

9
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:59,684

1
00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:28,236
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen

2
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,989
and television fans all over

3
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,907
the living room floor.

4
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:36,578
Tonight's drama is called
"The Manacled,"

5
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:41,458
and features a pair of these
attractive and useful charm bracelets.

6
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,669
These, of course,
are stage handcuffs

7
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:48,715
especially made so that
one can easily get out.

8
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,593
Of course, as you may know,

9
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:55,263
these little trinkets are

1
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,988
Good evening.

2
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:34,826
I came down here because I
understand that the current year

3
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,412
is a very good year for wine.

4
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,831
For drinking it, that is.

5
00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,917
I'm looking for
some champagne.

6
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:49,591
"Not to be taken internally. "
Oh.

7
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,844
"For bathing only. "

8
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:57,140
Fortunately, my tastes
aren't so expensive.

9
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,434
I bathe in ginger beer.

1
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:26,818
Good evening.

2
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:30,239
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,

3
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:34,493
the first case
on today's docket is entitled

4
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,912
"Malice Domestic. "

5
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:40,749
I hasten to add, however,
that "Malice Domestic"

6
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:43,126
is not about
the servant problem,

7
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:46,922
nor is it a puff
for imported wines.

8
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:51,009
It is concerned
with some mysterious doings

9
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,345

1
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,364
This is a police lineup.

2
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,283
Here desperate criminals
who have been brought to bay

3
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,160
appear before
the detective force

4
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,454
and are questioned
by the chief detective.

5
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,664
Listen.

6
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:39,957
Take your hat off.

7
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,377
"Name,
Hitchcock, Alfred.

8
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:44,962
"Height 5'6".

9
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,381
"Weight, prisoner refuses
to make a statement. "

1
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,000
I can't understand it.

2
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,169
Of course.

3
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,755
How stupid of me.

4
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,383
I forgot to put in the water.

5
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,678
I must do that at once, if I
want to catch anything today.

6
00:00:56,223 --> 00:01:00,018
All of this is not as absurdly
irrelevant as you think.

7
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,438
For if you listen
very closely,

8
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:06,066
you will hear the words
"bath tub"

9
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,527
mentioned in
tonight's script.

1
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,112
Good evening.

2
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:32,908
Methinks I should never have
come to the colonies.

3
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,453
Here I am,
the producer's dream,

4
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,956
a captive audience.

5
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,835
Unfortunately,
knowing the producer

6
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:46,588
I have already seen
tonight's story several times.

7
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:50,092
It is called,
"One For The Road. "

8
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:54,137
They say there are two sides
to every question,

9
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:58,600

1
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,531
Good evening.

2
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,658
I understand it is fashionable

3
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:35,661
to introduce television plays
from a library.

4
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,081
And so, I thought I would
preface tonight's play,

5
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,334
"The Cream of the Jest,"
in this way.

6
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,170
The Cream of the Jest

7
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,006
is a play about
the theatrical business.

8
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:55,806
And it has as
its central character

9
00:00:55,889 --> 00:01:00,227
a fading actor named

1
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,612
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

2
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,948
This is Alfred Hitchcock.

3
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:35,619
Tonight's play takes place
in merry old England,

4
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:39,206
and is called,
"I Killed the Count. "

5
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,459
When they asked me
to wear this, I demurred.

6
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:47,297
I didn't realize it would be an
invitation for automation to take over.

7
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,636
Empty. Now what does
that imply?

8
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,390
Oh well! Let the play begin.

9
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,507

1
00:00:26,439 --> 00:00:27,815
Good evening.

2
00:00:27,899 --> 00:00:31,319
Tonight's play is called
"I Killed The Count".

3
00:00:31,736 --> 00:00:33,905
Now, I know
what you're thinking.

4
00:00:33,988 --> 00:00:36,157
Last week's play
was also called

5
00:00:36,241 --> 00:00:37,867
"I Killed The Count".

6
00:00:37,951 --> 00:00:40,745
And you think tonight's
is just a revival.

7
00:00:40,828 --> 00:00:44,874
On the contrary, since we were
unable to finish the story last time,

8
00:00:44,999 --> 00:00:47,752
we shall have
another stab at it tonight.

9
00:00:47,835 --> 00:00:50,046

1
00:00:26,064 --> 00:00:28,483
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

2
00:00:28,858 --> 00:00:32,153
Those of you who have been
sitting on the edge of your chairs

3
00:00:32,362 --> 00:00:34,781
since last time
will be glad to know

4
00:00:34,864 --> 00:00:37,825
that tonight we shall
definitely present

5
00:00:37,909 --> 00:00:41,120
the final chapter
in our story

6
00:00:41,371 --> 00:00:43,164
"I Killed The Count".

7
00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:46,668
For those of you who have
missed the earlier installments,

8
00:00:47,043 --> 00:00:51,214
or have lost your scorecards,
I shall present a resume.

9

1
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,652
Good evening.

2
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:32,699
Most of you have doubtless read
how Anne Boleyn lost her head.

3
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:37,496
King Henry VIII,
no longer fascinated, said,

4
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,998
"Let her be decapitated. "

5
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,918
Thereupon the legend goes

6
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:48,674
her ghost roamed about each night
with utmost dignity and charm,

7
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:53,804
with her head tucked
underneath her arm.

8
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:58,934
Now with two heads
it occurs to me

9
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,728
I can think more clearly

1
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,363
Good evening.
This is a beauty contest.

2
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:34,117
I should explain however, that
I am not one of the contestants.

3
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:37,829
At the last moment, someone
stole my bathing suit.

4
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,957
So, I was made a judge.

5
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,085
You know the, uh,

6
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:48,257
the problem of finding an
unobtrusive spot for a vaccination

7
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,592
is getting more and more
difficult.

8
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,637
Let's see now.

9
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,808
This is ridiculous.

1
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:29,112
And then I dreamed
I was in a huge theater

2
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:32,741
where one of my motion
pictures was being shown,

3
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:36,370
but the theater
was absolutely empty.

4
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,747
Not a full seat anywhere.

5
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,209
On one wall
was a gigantic mirror,

6
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:45,712
and when I looked into it,
I didn't see my own face.

7
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,048
I saw my wife's.

8
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,593
I suppose I'd accidentally
wandered into her dream.

9
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,387

1
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,027
Good evening.

2
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,155
I'm just completing
a rather interesting device.

3
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,573
I think it will amuse you.

4
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:36,620
Tonight we are presenting
a story...

5
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,498
I should have explained.

6
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,916
You see,
this is arranged

7
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,877
so that anyone touching
the channel selector

8
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,504
to change programs

9
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,381
gets a nasty shock.

1
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:31,949
Good evening.

2
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,076
I hope you'll excuse me

3
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,911
for not being ready
at show time

4
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,746
but my watch is slow.

5
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:41,416
As a matter of fact, it
hasn't even gotten here yet.

6
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:44,753
First, I would like to announce
a change in our program.

7
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:48,590
Shakespeare's Hamlet
will not be presented tonight.

8
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,844
We don't feel it suitable
to show in the home.

9
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,054
All those corpses, you know.

1
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,153
Good evening.

2
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,695
Good heavens.

3
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,739
He looks like a toothpick
holder on an hors d'oeuvre table.

4
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,410
Oh, well, I guess I'll just
have to practice some more.

5
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,328
So much for the sideshow.

6
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,039
Now, turn your attention
to the center ring

7
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:24,084
where you will find
our main attraction.

8
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:52,112
My name is Hildegard.
Hildegard Fell.

9
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:56,575
I'm writing about my hometown,

1
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,241
Good evening.

2
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:37,871
I've been on Mars, where I went for
the opening of a new television station.

3
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,581
It's all part of a scheme

4
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:43,252
to take the best of our cultural
advances to the Martians.

5
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:46,964
Or Martinis, as they
prefer to be called.

6
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,258
They are highly intelligent

7
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,636
and my attempts to educate
them were quite successful.

8
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:56,014
Within a matter of minutes,
they were able to spell out,

9
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,267
"Earthman, go home"

1
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:28,237
Good evening,
television watchers.

2
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:31,532
Tonight's masque is entitled,

3
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:34,409
"The West Warlock
Time Capsule. "

4
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:37,996
The tale
of a timid taxidermist.

5
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:42,334
This gives me the excuse to
exhibit this prize of mine,

6
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,670
and to discuss taxidermy.

7
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,298
I feel I know quite a bit
about stuffed animals.

8
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:51,009
After all,
it takes one to know one.

9
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,887

1
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,235
Good evening.

2
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:30,697
Have you seen a small boy
with an apple on his head?

3
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,824
I know he's here somewhere,

4
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,160
but my eyes aren't
what they used to be.

5
00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,120
Oh, oh, there he is.

6
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,418
I missed again.

7
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,296
I think I'd better quit.

8
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,382
I even missed the boy
that time.

9
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:53,178
Tonight, the flickering shadows
on our magic lantern screen

1
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,822
Good evening.

2
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:36,161
Since you're allowed to make
yourself comfortable during our show,

3
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,790
I thought it only right
that I be allowed to relax.

4
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:43,585
After all,
the rules of television

5
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:47,047
seem weighed far too much
in favor of the viewer.

6
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,758
You can relax in your home,

7
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:52,803
while I must stay here
in this drafty studio.

8
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,014
I'm not feeling a bit well.

9
00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:00,185
But the show must go on,

1
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,528
Good evening.

2
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:32,074
This is Alfred Hitchcock speaking
to you from the bottom of the world.

3
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:36,245
I mention this so that if snow
should appear on your screen,

4
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,373
you won't waste time
adjusting your set.

5
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:41,792
Ah.

6
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:45,462
Man's best friend,
and a dog, too.

7
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:48,966
Even though I have
all the comforts of home,

8
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:51,718
I am afraid it is time
for our play,

9
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,972

1
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:26,902
Good evening.

2
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:29,696
You will excuse me
if I speak rapidly,

3
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,323
but I haven't much time.

4
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:34,159
I'm playing some
idiotic children's game,

5
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,537
and I'm supposed to stand
against this wall,

6
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,623
blindfolded, and with my hands
tied behind me.

7
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:42,459
While I'm standing here
waiting for something to happen,

8
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,838
you may watch tonight's drama,
"The Dangerous People".

9
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,548