30 Rock - Sixth Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:09,717 --> 00:00:12,876
Jason, I really
like your look.

2
00:00:12,910 --> 00:00:14,439
You had it
poppin' tonight.

3
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:15,820
I totally disagree.

4
00:00:15,854 --> 00:00:17,848
Because I love your look.

5
00:00:17,899 --> 00:00:19,312
You're a star.

6
00:00:19,347 --> 00:00:20,809
Believe in your dreams.

7
00:00:20,843 --> 00:00:22,821
- Thank you.
- Jason,

8
00:00:22,855 --> 00:00:25,848
have you ever put out a cigar
on Gilbert Gottfried's neck?

9
00:00:25,882 --> 00:00:27,710
Because I have,
and his screams

1
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:07,481
Liz,

2
00:00:07,776 --> 00:00:08,977
there's something
wrong with Pete.

3
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,435
Oh, my God, is he dead?

4
00:00:17,469 --> 00:00:19,687
I... I don't know what happened.

5
00:00:24,860 --> 00:00:27,862
Kenneth, I need a light bulb
replaced in my dressing room.

6
00:00:27,896 --> 00:00:30,898
Easy as pie, Ms. Maroney.
What could go wrong?

7
00:00:30,932 --> 00:00:34,702
Why would I even say that?

8
00:00:42,578 --> 00:00:44,662
Hey, whatever
happened to TiVo?

9
00:00:44,713 --> 00:00:46,080
Remember, you used
to fast-forward,

1
00:00:00,177 --> 00:00:01,697
Previously on "30 Rock".

2
00:00:02,330 --> 00:00:03,797
Say you approve of Criss.

3
00:00:03,831 --> 00:00:05,098
I'm in your head.

4
00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:07,317
Why did you have to offend the
gay community?

5
00:00:07,352 --> 00:00:10,003
Did you just call me an idiot
on this TV?

6
00:00:10,038 --> 00:00:13,774
Tracy has organized a protest
of NBC by his fellow idiots.

7
00:00:13,808 --> 00:00:15,325
Mr. Hornberger?

8
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:16,476
- What do we do?
- I don't know.

9
00:00:16,511 --> 00:00:18,997
But I know someone who does.

1
00:00:00,786 --> 00:00:02,886
From the director of Valentine's day

2
00:00:02,890 --> 00:00:04,124
and New Year's Eve...

3
00:00:05,451 --> 00:00:08,887
What? Tomorrow is Martin
Luther king day?

4
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:10,856
Yeah, and neither
of us have dates.

5
00:00:10,890 --> 00:00:12,290
Too bad we're
just platonic friends.

6
00:00:17,330 --> 00:00:19,231
I have a right to love you.

7
00:00:19,265 --> 00:00:20,298
Hello.

8
00:00:20,316 --> 00:00:21,299
In the words
of Martin Luther King,

9
00:00:21,334 --> 00:00:22,801
I've just got to go for it.

1
00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:06,595
Hey, Liz. Package for you.

2
00:00:14,376 --> 00:00:15,626
Simon?

3
00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:18,596
Sorry, Liz.

4
00:00:19,681 --> 00:00:21,382
I had no other way
into the building.

5
00:00:21,433 --> 00:00:22,800
And I lost
all my contacts

6
00:00:22,835 --> 00:00:25,019
after I dropped my cell phone
into the penguin exhibit.

7
00:00:25,054 --> 00:00:26,104
Yeah.

8
00:00:26,138 --> 00:00:28,005
I had my birthday
at the Aquarium.

9
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,273
What do you want?

1
00:00:04,852 --> 00:00:06,653
Liz, there's someone
in the apartment.

2
00:00:07,922 --> 00:00:11,158
 Someone who thinks
you're special 

3
00:00:11,192 --> 00:00:14,461
 in every single way

4
00:00:14,495 --> 00:00:17,948
 I wrote this song
to wish you 

5
00:00:17,982 --> 00:00:21,802
 a happy Valentine's Day

6
00:00:21,836 --> 00:00:23,603
 and the chorus goes here

7
00:00:23,621 --> 00:00:24,938
 yeah this is where
the chorus goes 

8
00:00:24,972 --> 00:00:28,542
Criss, I...

9
00:00:28,576 --> 00:00:30,961
 I didn't have time
to write it 

1
00:00:03,193 --> 00:00:04,760
What?

2
00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:06,095
Lemon, I'm gonna be
late for our meeting.

3
00:00:06,129 --> 00:00:07,830
I had to get out
of my car and walk.

4
00:00:07,864 --> 00:00:11,133
Fifth Avenue is closed
for a joint pain walkathon.

5
00:00:11,168 --> 00:00:13,902
It's only four blocks
but they are so slow.

6
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,271
I'm running late, too.

7
00:00:15,305 --> 00:00:18,073
My subway ride was
the standard amazingness.

8
00:00:18,108 --> 00:00:20,926
No, that's not how it works.

9
00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,262
Let people off first,

1
00:00:00,633 --> 00:00:03,625
Liz!
Liz Lemon!

2
00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:07,090
It's me, Thad.
From college.

3
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:08,391
I've had my skin tags removed

4
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,642
since then so you can
see my eyes now.

5
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,778
You ran the light board
at the theater.

6
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:15,248
Everyone called you... Thad,
no nickname.

7
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:18,902
And you, you were the star
The Sound of Music.

8
00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:21,120
Thank you, no everyone thinks
of the young Nazi boy

9

1
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:05,702
There she is!
Whore of whores!

2
00:00:05,736 --> 00:00:07,536
My Frankie could have
any woman on earth,

3
00:00:07,555 --> 00:00:09,339
- and he chose you?
- Ma!

4
00:00:09,373 --> 00:00:11,057
What are you doing here?

5
00:00:11,091 --> 00:00:13,209
Why can't you just be happy
that I'm happy...

6
00:00:13,227 --> 00:00:14,978
- With Liz?
- Can I just say one sentence?

7
00:00:15,012 --> 00:00:17,546
Dio mio,i'm an old fool.
What is wrong with me?

8
00:00:17,565 --> 00:00:19,015
My boy's in love!

9
00:00:20,884 --> 00:00:22,602

1
00:00:04,027 --> 00:00:05,978
Well, hello, Hank.
So good of you to come up.

2
00:00:05,986 --> 00:00:07,637
Well,
I'm not gonna miss

3
00:00:07,671 --> 00:00:10,489
the America's Kidz
got singing finale.

4
00:00:10,507 --> 00:00:12,959
Last time I was this excited
was this morning.

5
00:00:12,993 --> 00:00:16,045
I saw a cat wearing
the same sweater as its person.

6
00:00:18,131 --> 00:00:19,498
Jack, you remember
my granddaughter.

7
00:00:19,516 --> 00:00:21,250
Hi, Mr. Donaghy.

8
00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:22,502
Kaylie.

9
00:00:22,536 --> 00:00:24,220

1
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:03,840
Tracy, Jenna.

2
00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:05,124
We all know what happen

3
00:00:05,125 --> 00:00:07,457
when you hosted
the St. Patrick's day parade

4
00:00:07,458 --> 00:00:08,393
three years ago.

5
00:00:10,122 --> 00:00:11,256
Wake up,
mother-.

6
00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:13,008
And when you hosted
two years ago.

7
00:00:13,042 --> 00:00:14,542
Die, demon!

8
00:00:14,593 --> 00:00:16,327
Why didn't you
ever call me back?

9
00:00:16,345 --> 00:00:18,563
Unfortunately,
unless Harry's law

1
00:00:05,538 --> 00:00:08,090
On the subject
"why I lotgs?"

2
00:00:08,124 --> 00:00:09,291
Please tell me it's not--

3
00:00:09,325 --> 00:00:12,327
- The annual tgs viewer
walk-on contest.

4
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:14,045
It's great promotion, lemon.

5
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,881
We found that if someone
is actually on nbc,

6
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,632
They're 4% more likely
to watch it.

7
00:00:17,666 --> 00:00:18,984
- Really?
We're doing this again?

8
00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:21,103
After what
happened last year?

9
00:00:21,137 --> 00:00:22,604

1
00:00:04,410 --> 00:00:07,445
- Lemon...
What do you think?

2
00:00:07,479 --> 00:00:09,414
"kidnapped bydanger,
colon,

3
00:00:09,448 --> 00:00:10,999
"the avery jessup story,
comma,

4
00:00:11,033 --> 00:00:12,951
"brought to you with limited
commercial interruptions

5
00:00:12,985 --> 00:00:14,953
"by pride bladder control pads.

6
00:00:14,987 --> 00:00:17,205
Pride: Make every
room a bathroom."

7
00:00:17,256 --> 00:00:18,456
- Really, is that the title?

8
00:00:18,490 --> 00:00:19,874
'cause as the writer,
I was thinking

9
00:00:19,925 --> 00:00:21,993

1
00:00:02,034 --> 00:00:04,134
Here are all my receipts.

2
00:00:04,175 --> 00:00:05,425
Look, I don't
need these, Liz.

3
00:00:05,476 --> 00:00:07,210
Your tax return
is the same every year.

4
00:00:07,228 --> 00:00:08,561
Actually, I'll have you know

5
00:00:08,596 --> 00:00:11,514
that this has been
a year of change, Howard.

6
00:00:11,548 --> 00:00:13,099
I joined
an over-40 dance team,

7
00:00:13,150 --> 00:00:15,769
I started eating the lettuce on
my plate under my onion rings,

8
00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:19,356
and I have taken up meditation
thanks to my boyfriend Criss.

9
00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:22,993

1
00:00:03,483 --> 00:00:05,588
I've finished my Kabletown self evaluation!

2
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:06,963
Nailed it.

3
00:00:06,998 --> 00:00:09,049
"My greatest weakness
is humility.

4
00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:11,418
I'm probably the most humble
person in the whole world."

5
00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:12,469
I wrote that.

6
00:00:12,503 --> 00:00:14,304
These self-evaluations
are a charade.

7
00:00:14,338 --> 00:00:17,841
People cannot be impartial
about themselves.

8
00:00:17,875 --> 00:00:20,060
You should read what some
of your coworkers wrote.

9
00:00:20,094 --> 00:00:22,429
What three words

1
00:00:01,904 --> 00:00:03,812
Jack, I've got a huge problem.

2
00:00:04,052 --> 00:00:04,997
The TGS sweatshirts were

3
00:00:05,117 --> 00:00:07,653
supposed to say
"TGS Season Six, Yuck,"

4
00:00:07,773 --> 00:00:10,172
which is a catch-phrase
from a pretty great sketch.

5
00:00:10,292 --> 00:00:12,276
Yuck!

6
00:00:12,311 --> 00:00:13,978
But they got misprinted
and now they say,

7
00:00:14,012 --> 00:00:15,730
"TGS Season Six, Duck!"

8
00:00:15,781 --> 00:00:17,732
And that's a season
five catchphrase.

9
00:00:17,783 --> 00:00:19,850
Duck!?

1
00:00:01,303 --> 00:00:03,237
♪ Cleanup, cleanup ♪

2
00:00:03,357 --> 00:00:05,777
♪ do your own housework,
you little crackers ♪

3
00:00:05,897 --> 00:00:07,653
- what?
- My kindergarten teacher

4
00:00:07,671 --> 00:00:08,883
was a former black panther.

5
00:00:08,901 --> 00:00:09,761
Oh.

6
00:00:10,296 --> 00:00:12,363
Hey, I'm gonna fix that
loose baseboard upstairs.

7
00:00:12,431 --> 00:00:13,398
Wow, look at you,

8
00:00:13,465 --> 00:00:14,933
all sweaty with your tool belt

9
00:00:15,001 --> 00:00:16,334
and your '90s haircut.

10

1
00:00:01,620 --> 00:00:02,947
> Live television.

2
00:00:03,043 --> 00:00:04,142
Who cares?

3
00:00:04,618 --> 00:00:06,287
Who cares? Everybody.

4
00:00:06,345 --> 00:00:07,411
We love live TV.

5
00:00:07,479 --> 00:00:08,578
Do we, Lemon?

6
00:00:08,725 --> 00:00:11,080
Do you really love the
overzealous studio audience

7
00:00:11,081 --> 00:00:12,465
who will applaud at anything?

8
00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:15,456
Here in the greatest city on earth,
New York City, baby? Whassup?

9
00:00:19,768 --> 00:00:22,009
Wait, what are you saying, Jack?

10
00:00:22,094 --> 00:00:23,419

1
00:00:00,601 --> 00:00:02,401
Previously on "Queen of Jordan".

2
00:00:02,456 --> 00:00:04,556
Randy's another harvest dad,
I need a nanny.

3
00:00:04,942 --> 00:00:06,677
That's perfect!

4
00:00:06,693 --> 00:00:09,461
All my children
were taken away.

5
00:00:09,496 --> 00:00:10,663
Can you believe that
D'Fwan is telling you

6
00:00:10,697 --> 00:00:13,082
that Angie is starting
her own clothing line?

7
00:00:13,133 --> 00:00:14,383
Why don't you
control your dog?

8
00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:17,836
He controls me!

9
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:20,990
Hello, Angie...

1
00:00:17,207 --> 00:00:18,907
I'm sorry, I bet your tongue
it's been a while.

2
00:00:18,941 --> 00:00:20,609
I'm sorry I taste like
Korean cigarettes.

3
00:00:20,643 --> 00:00:22,844
Tobacco's the only thing
with protein over there.

4
00:00:22,862 --> 00:00:25,363
Their meat is just
deflated kickballs.

5
00:00:25,398 --> 00:00:26,448
How are you feeling?

6
00:00:26,482 --> 00:00:27,949
Ready to put this all
behind me.

7
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:31,153
I don't even want to think about
the things they made me do.

8
00:00:31,187 --> 00:00:33,221
Earlier today,
America's credit rating

9

1
00:00:04,225 --> 00:00:06,758
You didn't whisper in my ear
and kiss me to wake me up

2
00:00:06,793 --> 00:00:07,926
like you always do.

3
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,095
I've never done that.

4
00:00:10,129 --> 00:00:12,881
Sweetie, wake up.
It's morning.

5
00:00:16,419 --> 00:00:18,053
I love you too.

6
00:00:18,087 --> 00:00:20,055
Anyway, I'm taking the van
out to Queens.

7
00:00:20,089 --> 00:00:22,524
There's this big parade.
Parades need people.

8
00:00:22,558 --> 00:00:23,859
People need hot dogs.

9
00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:26,478
That's where
Van Der Beek and I step in.