30 Rock - First Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:09,550
♪♪

2
00:00:09,842 --> 00:00:11,122
Excuse me.
There's a line, buddy.

3
00:00:11,385 --> 00:00:12,385
There's two lines.

4
00:00:12,553 --> 00:00:13,596
No, no, there's one line.

5
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:14,888
We're in it.

6
00:00:15,014 --> 00:00:16,557
I'm just getting a hot dog.

7
00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:18,142
We're all getting hot dogs.

8
00:00:18,434 --> 00:00:19,714
What, you think
there's two lines

9
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,096
and we're all in this line...

10
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,439

1
00:00:03,669 --> 00:00:05,463
I thought Tracy was
getting here at noon.

2
00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:07,315
Movie stars move at
their own pace, Liz.

3
00:00:07,423 --> 00:00:08,543
We have to accommodate them.

4
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,438
Yeah, well, a lot of people
are still upset

5
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:11,628
about Tracy joining the show.

6
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:12,470
That's not my problem.

7
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:14,138
I have other things on my plate.

8
00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:15,866
You hear about that chemical
factory explosion

9
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,266
outside of Colorado Springs?

1
00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:02,793
Now, Robot, kick 'em
in the knees.

2
00:00:03,085 --> 00:00:04,837
Bears have weak knees.

3
00:00:05,129 --> 00:00:07,024
And you should vibrate, 'cause
the robot's full of radiation.

4
00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:08,048
Yeah, that's it.
Frank.

5
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:11,135
How many bears did I
say you could have? One.

6
00:00:11,427 --> 00:00:14,222
And how many do you see here?

7
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,182
Um, four?

8
00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:18,274
Save a little money
for the rest of us, Frank.

9
00:00:18,559 --> 00:00:20,120
You can't spend a bunch

1
00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:03,711
All right, we have a lot

2
00:00:04,003 --> 00:00:06,130
to get through today, you guys.

3
00:00:06,422 --> 00:00:08,549
Anybody have anything
on page one?

4
00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:12,803
I think we need to change
this Donald Trump joke...

5
00:00:14,555 --> 00:00:18,434
Because Donald Trump was
eaten by a lion this morning

6
00:00:18,726 --> 00:00:21,395
on the International
Space Station.

7
00:00:21,687 --> 00:00:24,148
Anyone listening?

8
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:25,440
Yeah, okay, Cerie,

9
00:00:25,691 --> 00:00:27,211
how about instead of
doing the scripts,

1
00:00:03,794 --> 00:00:05,880
Tracy
Jordan to the stage, please.

2
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,382
Tracy to the stage.

3
00:00:08,674 --> 00:00:10,034
Hey, hey, hey,
where are you going?

4
00:00:10,134 --> 00:00:11,487
They've been paging you
for rehearsal!

5
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:12,970
Rehearsal?
We did a show last week.

6
00:00:13,262 --> 00:00:14,490
I just came
to pick up a paycheck.

7
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,641
No. We do a show
every Friday, Tracy.

8
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:17,933
It's not gonna work.

9
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,228

1
00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,799
It's so sweet of you
to walk me to work today.

2
00:00:09,091 --> 00:00:09,509
You're my girl, right?

3
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,135
And I take care of you, huh?

4
00:00:11,427 --> 00:00:12,427
Who knows?

5
00:00:12,553 --> 00:00:14,514
Maybe we'll see
Natalie Morales, you know?

6
00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:15,473
That little firecracker,

7
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,565
she gets my blood running
south of the border.

8
00:00:17,808 --> 00:00:19,560
That is less sweet.

9
00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:20,394
I'm gonna stop by tonight.

10

1
00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:07,089
Why is there hair everywhere?

2
00:00:07,381 --> 00:00:08,716
Did you shave in the kitchen?

3
00:00:09,008 --> 00:00:11,135
The water in here is softer.

4
00:00:11,427 --> 00:00:13,846
Look at this ski-jumping idiot,
Bode Miller.

5
00:00:14,138 --> 00:00:16,098
What kind of
a fruity name is Bode?

6
00:00:16,390 --> 00:00:17,767
That cereal has
the Olympics on it?

7
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:19,227
It must be eight months old.

8
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,559
When you and me have kids,

9
00:00:20,686 --> 00:00:22,581
we're gonna give them good
names, like Shannon or Rick.

1
00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:04,253
Hey.

2
00:00:04,545 --> 00:00:05,588
Hi, babe.

3
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:08,841
Dennis, what are you doing?

4
00:00:09,133 --> 00:00:10,468
I'm gonna mount a TV
on your wall.

5
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,053
I just can't find a stud.

6
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:14,847
So you made nine holes
in my wall?

7
00:00:15,139 --> 00:00:16,408
No, those are
for the shelves, dummy.

8
00:00:16,432 --> 00:00:17,767
The TV is gonna go right here.

9
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:19,536
It's gonna be awesome.
It's gonna be...

1
00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:07,507
Well, I don't know why
they need you in the studio.

2
00:00:07,798 --> 00:00:09,425
Surprise!

3
00:00:09,717 --> 00:00:12,470
Oh, my God!
Is this for me?

4
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:14,388
I can't believe
you made all this fuss

5
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:15,680
over my birthday.

6
00:00:15,806 --> 00:00:18,100
It's so incredibly thoughtful.

7
00:00:18,392 --> 00:00:20,895
Let me give something back
to you guys.

8
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♪ I believe the children
are our future ♪

9
00:00:24,565 --> 00:00:27,193
♪ Teach them well

1
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♪♪

2
00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:10,718
The flowers are lovely.
Thank you.

3
00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:13,304
No, you hang up first.

4
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:14,656
Okay, on the count of three.

5
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,974
One, two, three...

6
00:00:17,266 --> 00:00:18,601
No, I didn't hang up either.

7
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,312
Donaghy, I need your help.

8
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,398
I miss you too.

9
00:00:24,690 --> 00:00:26,126
I said I miss you too.
You're breaking up.

10
00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:27,150

1
00:00:03,377 --> 00:00:05,129
We're back in two minutes!

2
00:00:05,421 --> 00:00:06,607
So are you going
to ask out the Head?

3
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:07,215
The Head?

4
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,592
There are these two MSNBC guys

5
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:10,510
we keep seeing around,

6
00:00:10,801 --> 00:00:11,427
and we don't know their names,

7
00:00:11,719 --> 00:00:13,199
so we call them
the Head and the Hair.

8
00:00:13,387 --> 00:00:15,097
How come?

9
00:00:16,432 --> 00:00:20,102
So what are you, like 6'2"?

10
00:00:20,394 --> 00:00:22,104

1
00:00:03,544 --> 00:00:04,879
Okay, Round 2.
Josh, you're up.

2
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:05,755
What do you got?

3
00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:07,048
Check it out.

4
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,591
Your mama is so stupid,

5
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:11,677
she thinks an iMac is
a new hamburger at McDonald's.

6
00:00:11,969 --> 00:00:13,387
Boo. Okay, not bad.

7
00:00:13,679 --> 00:00:15,181
Okay, okay, I got one.
I got one.

8
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:16,849
What's the difference between

9
00:00:17,141 --> 00:00:19,352
your mama and a washing machine?

10

1
00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:03,211
Look, Jack, I'm not blaming you,

2
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,338
but everybody got food
poisoning.

3
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,049
Food poisoning?
That isn't possible.

4
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,860
That seafood was a gift
from my friend,

5
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:12,345
the owner
of the Cleveland Browns.

6
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,931
They're very expensive
freshwater clams

7
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:15,932
from the Cuyahoga River.

8
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:18,267
My whole staff
has been blorching

9
00:00:18,559 --> 00:00:20,228

1
00:00:05,963 --> 00:00:07,048
Come on in, Tracy.

2
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,220
Yo, is this about that little
red-headed intern?

3
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,344
'Cause she asked me
to take it out.

4
00:00:11,636 --> 00:00:12,636
No, no, no.

5
00:00:12,678 --> 00:00:13,958
I wanted to invite you
to join me

6
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:16,222
at a charity golf tourney
that Don Geiss is hosting

7
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,059
at his country club
in Old Saybrook.

8
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,312
I'm not familiar with about
half the words in that sentence.

9
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,439

1
00:00:05,254 --> 00:00:08,382
Wow, this is an honor.

2
00:00:08,674 --> 00:00:10,176
I am friends with number four

3
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,638
on Maxim's list
of the sexiest women in comedy.

4
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:14,639
Thanks.

5
00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,158
At first I was mad
that Jessica Simpson

6
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:17,182
was ahead of me.

7
00:00:17,433 --> 00:00:18,660
But then I saw
the Dukes of Hazzard.

8
00:00:18,684 --> 00:00:20,394
Funny!

9
00:00:20,686 --> 00:00:22,146
What is that, baby oil?

10

1
00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:02,710
That's a wrap.

2
00:00:03,002 --> 00:00:04,837
Monday's call time is 9.00 AM.

3
00:00:05,129 --> 00:00:07,131
Have a good weekend, everybody.

4
00:00:07,423 --> 00:00:09,217
Good show, Liz Lemon!

5
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,844
You coming
to the after-after party.

6
00:00:12,136 --> 00:00:14,180
We have after-after parties?

7
00:00:18,017 --> 00:00:19,685
♪♪

8
00:00:19,977 --> 00:00:21,604
Hey, I'm Steven!

9
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,106
Hi, Sven!
I'm Liz.

10
00:00:24,398 --> 00:00:25,691

1
00:00:04,378 --> 00:00:05,481
What class do you wanna take?

2
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,089
Oh, anything
that doesn't have the word

3
00:00:07,381 --> 00:00:10,301
"strip," "salsa," or "beatz"
with a Z in the name of it.

4
00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:12,553
Cardio Hip-Hop Groove
it is then.

5
00:00:12,845 --> 00:00:13,930
Hey, what's up?

6
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:14,889
Hey!

7
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,933
Nothing, just...
going into the same class

8
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:18,225
you're going into.

9
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,727
Cool.

1
00:00:03,252 --> 00:00:04,252
Thank you.

2
00:00:06,672 --> 00:00:07,672
Hey.

3
00:00:07,715 --> 00:00:08,966
Wow.

4
00:00:09,258 --> 00:00:10,885
Hot dog times, huh?

5
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,529
I only eat them
on special occasions.

6
00:00:12,553 --> 00:00:12,929
What's the special occasion?

7
00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:14,221
I decided to eat one.

8
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,347
Fair enough.

9
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,141
You going this way?

10
00:00:17,433 --> 00:00:18,833
Uh, no, I'm going in here,

1
00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:13,513
♪♪

2
00:00:13,804 --> 00:00:15,473
Hey, what's wrong with you?

3
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:16,765
What?

4
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:18,184
Your face...

5
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,876
It's like you're happy
or something.

6
00:00:20,102 --> 00:00:21,229
I am happy, Frank.

7
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,064
'Cause of that dude
you're donking.

8
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:24,565
Floyd?

9
00:00:24,857 --> 00:00:26,025
Yes.

10
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:28,444

1
00:00:01,751 --> 00:00:02,871
And this is the two-bedroom.

2
00:00:03,002 --> 00:00:05,004
Wow.

3
00:00:07,548 --> 00:00:09,342
By the hammer of Thor!

4
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:10,676
Can you afford this place?

5
00:00:10,968 --> 00:00:11,968
Yeah.

6
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:13,420
I can with this new promotion.

7
00:00:13,679 --> 00:00:15,389
It's... a lot more money.

8
00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:18,226
Like "get away with murdering
my first wife" kind of dough.

9
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,227
Mm-hmm.

10
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,271
See, now, I could hang

1
00:00:00,833 --> 00:00:02,752
Previously, on 30 Rock...

2
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:07,089
Oh, my, not that... this.

3
00:00:07,381 --> 00:00:08,633
Sorry, I don't shake hands.

4
00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:10,760
I have avian bone syndrome.

5
00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:11,677
Hollow bones.

6
00:00:11,969 --> 00:00:13,513
Tracy Jordan,
the Black Crusaders

7
00:00:13,804 --> 00:00:14,889
are coming for you.

8
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:17,642
The top law firm
in Cleveland wants me.

9
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,254
God's sakes, Tracy,
where are you?

10